


Across the Stars

by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Jedi Rey, Senator Ben Solo, eventual pregnancy, jedi/senator, reverse Anidala
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-08-25 12:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16661285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/hipgrab
Summary: She flushes. “Well, good, because I’m going to become a Jedi Knight.”'“I know you are.”She wants to tell him how much she’ll miss him. She wants to tell him that she’ll be lost without him. She wants to tell him that she loves him. But she doesn’t. She only sighs, her shoulders sagging. “Have fun in the Senate.”(In which Rey is a Jedi Knight sworn to protect her childhood friend, Ben Solo.)





	1. Movement I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I'm so excited to get this up! I wrote this fic ages ago but I'm very particular about my posting schedule so it's only seeing the light of day now. 
> 
> Things to keep in mind:  
> -this is a Jedi/Senator AU  
> -Luke is following the old Jedi way by discouraging his students from attachments  
> -I'm borrowing heavily from Claudia Gray's Bloodline  
> -there will eventually be a pregnancy plot line. Please hit me up if you want details so you can handle it accordingly. Take care of yourselves <3 
> 
> I commissioned the lovely [star-beam](star-beam.tumblr.com) on Tumblr to make [some BEAUTIFUL art](https://kylorenaissance.tumblr.com/post/180001821207/a-while-ago-i-commissioned-the-extremely-talented) for this fic and I cannot encourage you enough to check it out!
> 
> Thank you also to [shmisolo](shmisolo.tumblr.com) for making the beautiful cover art for this fic, and thank you eternally to [jeenonamit](jeenonamit.tumblr.com) for betaing <3 
> 
> Enjoy!

_ A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… _

Ben looks around with a frown. “This place is more desolate than Tatooine.” 

“I never thought I would agree with that statement, but you’re right,” Luke admits. “Fortunately, we won’t be staying long.”

“What makes you think the  _ Falcon _ is even here?” Ben asks, following his uncle as he treads through the sand. Ben doesn’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and--

“I can sense it,” Luke says simply. “That, and this place is something of a ship graveyard. If we haven’t heard from the  _ Falcon _ , there’s a reason for it, and I’m willing to bet it’s because some lowlife is hiding it out here with all the other pieces of junk.  _ Don’t _ let your dad hear that I said that.” 

Ben quirks a smile. He’s never truly understood his father’s attachment to the  _ Falcon _ , and hearing Luke call it a piece of junk is satisfying, somehow. 

One of the planet’s only signs of inhabitation, Niima Outpost, has barely come into view when Ben tugs at Luke’s sleeve. “Look.”

Just as Luke had predicted, the  _ Falcon _ sits just outside the outpost, covered sparsely in drop cloths. Clearly, someone has been working on it. Or they want it to look that way. 

Luke heads straight for the  _ Falcon _ . As they get closer, Ben can see that it’s definitely in even worse shape than when his father owned it. The bolts are rusted, the coating has been chipped away by sand, and it looks as if it hasn’t been washed since Han owned it. It also looks like some parts are missing. 

The ramp is down, so Luke walks straight into the ship. Ben follows, ducking his head out of habit. The ship is almost filthier inside than it is out. 

“Dad would be pissed,” Ben announces.

“Not as pissed as Lando.”

They exchange a smirk. 

The two men head for the cockpit, Luke taking the pilot’s seat, Ben dropping into the copilot’s seat. The  _ Falcon _ hums to life--a strange sight for Ben, who hasn’t seen the ship in a long time. It’s definitely the worse for wear, but Ben knows that as upset as Han will be to see the neglect it’s faced, he’ll be happy just to see it again. The thought of making his father happy, making his father  _ proud _ , is oddly warming. Ben privately decides to unpack that later and turns to the task at hand of getting the  _ Falcon _ off of this forsaken planet.

“What about the quad jumper?” he asks.

“Whoever stole this ship can keep it,” Luke says. “As...repayment.”

That thought sits uneasy with Ben, who doesn’t like the idea of repaying a man for a ship he stole. But it  _ would _ be impractical to take the quad jumper now...especially since he sees men running towards the  _ Falcon _ .

“Uncle Luke--”

“I see them.” Luke lifts off, skimming over the desert. More people spill out of the outpost to look, but no one else runs to stop them. As soon as Luke has his bearings (no easy task in the bucket of bolts), he punches it, sending them to lightspeed. They’re gone, Jakku nothing now but a memory.

Something shifts in the corner of Ben’s awareness. Someone else is on this ship. His smile fades, his eyes searching Luke’s.

“I sense it too,” Luke murmurs, hand on the hilt of his lightsaber. He sets the coordinates and then he and Ben exit the cockpit, searching for the life form.

Near the ramp, Ben points at the floor. Luke nods, and in a flash, they tear off the tile. 

A little girl is in the hold. She looks up at them with wide eyes, mouth agape. She can’t be more than nine or ten. Her clothes are roughspun rags, and her brown hair is gathered into three buns. Her skin is tanned and freckled, a sure sign that she’s native to the planet they just left behind.

“What are you doing here?” Luke asks kindly.

“Nothing,” she says quickly. 

“That’s all right.” Luke squats down. “Do you know who owns this ship?”

“Unkar Plutt,” she says at once. “He stole it from the Irving boys, and they stole it from Gannis Ducain.”

“Gannis Ducain, huh?” Luke chuckles, rubbing his beard. “Where is Unkar Plutt now?” 

“He’s giving out portions.” She stands up. “Do you have any food?”

“Sure do.” Luke reaches into his robes and pulls out some bantha jerky. Ben has always hated the stuff, but the little girl gobbles it down. 

“Did you steal the ship from Unkar Plutt?” she asks. 

Luke glances at Ben. “We want to return it to the person Gannis Ducain stole it from. How do you know Unkar Plutt?”

“My parents gave me to him to look after me.”

“They gave you to him?” Luke asks, frowning. “Are you a slave?”

The little girl scowls. “I’m a  _ person _ and my  _ name _ is  _ Rey _ .”

“I’m sorry, Rey,” Luke says. “I didn’t mean to upset you. My name is Luke, and this is my nephew, Ben. This ship belongs to Ben’s father and we just want to return it to him.”

Rey takes in the sight of Ben. While she does, he probes gently into her thoughts. He sees her as a smaller child, screaming, “ _ Come back! _ ”  while an enormous hand envelops her arm. She’s screaming at a ship, but it feels...wrong. Distorted. Like it isn’t really a memory and more...a fantasy that’s become a memory.

“Get out of my head,” she whines, and then she’s pushing him out. He slips out of her head easily, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. A non-Force user shouldn’t be able to do that. Which means…

Luke gives him a look. He saw it too. “Rey,” he says in that same gentle voice. “Are you...able to do things other people can’t?”

She whips her head around to look at Luke, still panting from the effort of pushing Ben out of her head. “I can reach things no one else can because I’m so small,” she offers.

Luke shakes his head. “I mean, do things...move when you want them to, even without touching them? Can you understand people’s thoughts? Can you sense things no one else can?”

Rey looks at him blankly. 

“Never mind,” Luke says. “Rey, how would you like to come live with us?”

Her eyes light up, and then just as quickly turn dull. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My family,” she explains. “They’re coming back for me. Someday.”

Ben thinks of the fantasy-turned-memory. What part of that was the fantasy? Are her parents ever really coming back? 

Luke seems to be thinking along similar lines. “Rey, I believe you have the Force. Do you know what that is?” 

“It’s a power that Jedi have that lets them control people and…” She struggles to find the right words. “Make things...float.”

“It’s much more than that. The Force is what ties all living beings together. Very few people have it. And I believe you’re one of them.”

Rey looks up at him solemnly. “Are you a Jedi?”

“Yes. I have students who are all training to be Jedi, including Ben, here.” Luke nods at his nephew. “I think you should come with me, Rey. I think you should train in the ways of the Force.” 

Rey bites her lip. “But my family,” she says weakly.

“They’re never coming back,” Ben says.

“ _ Ben _ ,” Luke hisses, but Ben presses on.

“They sold you to Unkar Plutt. Families,  _ real _ families, don’t do that.”

Luke is giving him a despairing look and Rey has tears in her eyes...but after a long moment,  she nods. 

“Yes,” she whispers. 

Ben holds out a hand, which she takes; he lifts her out of the hold and sets her on the floor beside him. 

“Come with us,” he says.

Rey nods. 

Ben tries not to smirk at Luke.  _ Tries _ .

He isn’t successful. 

“Have you ever left Jakku?” Luke asks her.

She shakes her head. “I’ve never gone past Kelvin Ridge.”

Ben doesn’t know where Kelvin Ridge is in relation to Niima Outpost, but he’s willing to bet it isn’t far. Of course, Jakku is a very small planet, and he can’t imagine one side of the planet is that far from the other. He also can’t imagine what it’s like to spend an entire lifetime on one planet and one planet only. He’s been traversing the galaxy for as long as he can remember--accompanying his mother on diplomatic missions, trailing after his father on sublight runs, obediently following Luke as he gathered pupils. Chandrila is his home, but it wasn’t unusual for him to be away for months at a time. With a start, he realizes he hasn’t been back there in years. 

“Where are we going?” Rey asks.

“Yavin 4,” Luke tells her. “That’s where the new Jedi Temple is. Most of the students are older than you, but I think you’ll fit right in.” 

It’s one of the ways Luke’s new order differs from the old. The old Jedi order used to take children in their cradles to train them. Anakin Skywalker had been taken as a child, and it had destroyed him. Now, Luke’s temple is open to those who have the Force and wish to use it. Most of them are teenagers and young adults and all of them come by choice. Children are not taken from their homes, and no one is forced to stay. 

“Do you have any more food?” Rey asks.

Luke chuckles, reaching into his pouch for more jerky. “There will be plenty of food on Yavin 4.”

Rey gobbles down the jerky. “Can I explore? Unkar never lets me.”

“You can do whatever you like, Rey,” Luke says. 

Rey is clearly unused to hearing that. She slips off, padding down the corridor.

Ben turns to Luke as soon as she’s out of earshot. “She’s strong, Uncle Luke.”

“I know--I felt it too.” Luke rubs his jaw. “It’s ironic.”

“What is?”

Luke shrugs. “My father was a slave on Tatooine when the Jedi discovered him. Rey was a slave on a desert planet.”

“You think she’s the next Chosen One?”

“I don’t know. The Force works in mysterious ways.”  Luke shrugs. “At the very least, she’s an interesting child. Extremely Force sensitive for one so young and so untrained. I don’t think she’ll have any trouble catching up to the other students.”

Ben doesn’t think so, either. In fact, he’d be surprised if she stayed with the beginners for long. Her strength when she’d pushed him out of her head...That shouldn’t have been possible. And yet, it had happened.

Distantly, Ben senses her discomfort. 

“I’m going to check on her,” he says, following her Force signature. He finds her huddled in one of the bunks, arms and legs tucked close to her body. “Are you all right?” he asks gently.

“It’s very cold,” she says, sounding almost sheepish. 

Ben reaches under the bunk, pulling out a blanket. He’s relieved to see he still knows where everything is. “You come from a warm planet, Rey. A little too warm for my taste. Space is cold.”

“Is Yavin 4 cold?” she asks as he wraps her in the blanket.

“It’s not as hot as Jakku, but it can get pretty hot,” he says. “Humid. Do you know what that means?”

She shakes her head.

“It’s a kind of wet heat, because of all the water in the air.”

Rey’s eyes widen. “There’s  _ water _ in the  _ air _ ?”

Ben feels a pang for this child. Water is probably a scarce commodity on Jakku. How often had she had access to it? 

“You’ll like Yavin 4,” he says. “There are trees everywhere, and water, and the old Rebellion base. And food--better than that jerky my uncle keeps giving you.”

“And you’ll be there?” she asks.

“Of course,” he says. “I live there.”

Rey smiles, settling back against the bunk. “Okay.”

Ben smiles back.

  
  



	2. Movement II

Rey frowns at the boulder. 

It doesn’t move. 

She huffs, pacing up and down. She’s been trying for hours. They said she wouldn’t be able to and…

...they were right. 

Luke keeps telling her that she doesn’t have to prove herself. “You’re the youngest pupil here,” he always says. “No one will judge you because of your abilities.”

But Rey judges herself. Unkar Plutt liked her for the way she was able to reach things no adult could, for her tiny fingers and skinny little body. As she got older, however, she grew, and Unkar Plutt liked her a bit less and less. 

She knows Luke’s affection for her will not diminish simply because of what she can or cannot do, but the anxiety of being kicked out of the temple does not go away--especially when she struggles to do something as simple as  _ lifting rocks _ . 

_ You’re training to be a Jedi, _ she chastises herself.  _ You’re better than this. _

“Still out here, scavenger?”

Rey huffs, her concentration broken. “What do you want, Your Worshipfulness?”

Now it’s Ben’s turn to huff.  “I never should’ve told you about my mother. And for the last time, just because she’s a princess doesn’t mean I’m a prince.” 

“If you say so, Your Highness,” she says, a smile pulling at her lips. 

He rolls his eyes, sitting on the stump behind her. “Why does this rock preoccupy so many of  your thoughts?”

“Because I can’t  _ move _ it,” she groans, pacing up and down. “It’s just  _ lifting rocks _ and I  _ can’t do it _ .”

“You’re ten,” he points out. “Most ten-year-olds can’t lift something that size.”

“Most ten-year-olds aren’t me,” she says. 

She’s not wrong--most ten-year-olds haven’t had to face the things she’s had to. But she’s still ten, and lifting a boulder this size at her age and with her training would be unusual. 

“You’ll wear yourself out if you keep trying with something this big,” he says in his most logical tone. “Start with something small.”

“I  _ have _ started with something small,” she says irritably. “I started with little pebbles, and then rocks, and then bigger rocks, and--”

“And you’re moving too fast. It takes  _ time _ . And,” he says, sounding very like Luke, “you have to let the Force  _ flow _ through you. You can’t just make it do whatever you want.” He moves to the ground, patting the space across from him. She sighs, dropping down with obvious reluctance. Ben closes his eyes, resting his hands palm-upward on his knees, and Rey mirrors his pose. 

“What do you feel?” he asks softly.

“Grass. Dirt. Wind.” She takes a deep breath. “Sweat. Humidity.”

“Pretend you’re the laundry hanging out to dry and the Force is the wind flowing through you.”

She imagines herself as one of her bedsheets, held onto the line only by a few simple clasps. She imagines herself rippling in the breeze, billowing as a gust barrels through and sends her flapping. Unbidden, a smile pulls at her lips. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Light. Happy.” 

Ben hums in agreement. “Keep imagining that breeze flowing through you, blowing you up and into the air. Can you feel it?”

She can. “Yes.”

“Open your eyes.”

She does, and when she realizes that she’s levitating an inch off the ground, she lets out a shout of gleeful surprise. Her bottom hits the ground, but she laughs, throwing her arms around Ben. “Thank you.”

“I’m not all bad,” he says, wrapping one arm around her.

“Just most of the time.”

.

A shadow falls over Ben’s face. He opens his eyes, blinking up at a very wet, very determined Rey.

“What are you doing all the way out here?” she asks, water droplets sliding down her hair and swimsuit and landing on his sun-warmed skin.

“What are  _ you _ doing all the way out here?” he grouses, sitting up. 

“I haven’t seen you all day.” She sits beside him. “Are you avoiding me?”

“No,” he says truthfully.

Rey considers. “Are you avoiding your family?”

Ben doesn’t answer.

“They’re worried about you,” she confides.

“I know.” He sighs. “They argue about it a lot.”

Rey chews her lip. “Is it...because of your dreams?”

He doesn’t answer that, either.

“They’re getting better though, aren’t they?” she presses. “I mean, since you came to study the Force.”

“They are,” he admits. “I have the tools now to make them...not stop, but become more manageable.”

“So why are they still worried?”

Ben shrugs. “They don’t understand it. My parents. My father has no Force sensitivity, and my mother didn’t realize she had it until she was older than I am now, and even then she never wanted to pursue it. Luke is the only one who even remotely understands, and he…”

“He’s afraid,” she finishes.

Ben nods. “Yes.” How odd it is, he thinks, that his most trusted confidante has become this eleven-year-old girl. It’s been two years since he and Luke took her from Jakku, and in that time she’s become something like family to him. Not like his family, though. He can talk to her, which is something he can’t always say of his actual family. Rey isn’t afraid of him, and he thinks that she understands him--in her eleven-year-old way. It’s why he doesn’t really mind that she swam all the way out to the island to find him.

Maybe he likes her  _ because _ she swam all the way out to the island. At his grandmother’s villa, where she gets spoiled rotten by his parents and the household droids and servants, Rey chose to come out here and find him and make sure he’s all right. His parents and Luke would never do something like that.

“Are you afraid?”

He blinks at her question. “No. Why?”

She shrugs. “You feel afraid.”

“I’m not,” he says, perhaps a little too aggressively.

She shrugs again. “Okay. If you say so.” She lies down on the sand. “Do you know the names of the birds? I keep hearing them singing but I don’t know this planet.”

Ben lies back down. “You hear the one that sounds like Artoo? That steady three notes? That’s a pelikki. They mostly live in the rivers, but sometimes you can hear them out on the lake…”

.

When Ben finally finds her, she’s in the field she always visits, lifting the boulder she finally learned to levitate last year. She keeps it afloat even when she senses him come near, and she’s proud of herself for staying in control. 

“Are you avoiding me?” he asks. She wonders if he knows he’s echoing her words from two years ago, when she’d gone with him and Luke to his grandmother’s lake house. 

“No.” She sets down the boulder. “But you’re leaving me.”

He sighs, sitting down on the stump. “Yes.”

“Why?” 

He sighs. “Because it feels...right. My parents sent me to Luke so I could learn to control my emotions. I’ve done that. Now it’s time for the next thing.”

“Why don’t you want to be a Jedi?” she asks, turning to face him. “You’ve spent  _ years _ training, and now…”

“I told you,” he says wearily. “I came here to control my emotions.” He plucks at some overgrown grass. “It wasn’t even my choice, it was my mother’s. I’m twenty-three, Rey, I...I have to make my own life.”

“And you can’t make your own life as a Jedi?”

When he looks up at her, she thinks he has the saddest eyes she’s ever seen. “No. The Jedi don’t control their own lives--their lives are dedicated to the Force.”

Rey stalks closer to him. “Do you think the Jedi are stupid?”

“No, I just don’t think it’s the right path for me.” He gives her an almost tender look. “I don’t think you’re stupid for wanting to stay here, scavenger.”

She flushes. “Well, good, because I’m going to become a Jedi Knight.”

“I know you are.”

She wants to tell him how much she’ll miss him. She wants to tell him that she’ll be lost without him. She wants to tell him that she loves him. But she doesn’t. She only sighs, her shoulders sagging. “Have fun in the Senate.”

“Here.” He fishes something out of his pocket, laying it in her open hand. It’s a japor snippet, one that’s been carved with stars. “I made this for you. So you won’t forget me when you’re a big tough Jedi Knight.”

Rey is incredibly touched by the gesture. She has so few possessions, and nearly all of them are hand-me-downs from the older students or things she made herself. She only has a handful of gifts, most of them from Luke, most of them terribly practical. She has so few useless trinkets, and certainly no jewelry. This japor snippet pendant, mean as it is, is easily one of the most precious things she now owns. 

“It’ll bring you good fortune,” Ben says. 

“Thank you,” she says quietly. Then, clearing her throat, she adds, “But I won’t need this to remember you by. You’re such a pain in my ass I don’t think I’ll ever forget you.”

He laughs, a beautiful, melodic sound. He doesn’t laugh often, and she always feels pleased when she can make him do it. “Yeah, you too, kid.” He stands up and surprises her by enveloping her in a hug. “May the Force be with you,” he murmurs. 

“And with you.”

  
  



	3. Movement III

“Senator Organa?”

Ben opens his eyes, bringing himself back to here and now. He’d sensed a great disturbance in the Force and had gone to his cabin to meditate. What exactly is going on remains unclear, but he knows that he must be careful on Hosnian Prime. Not that he isn’t whenever he visits the galaxy’s capital--Luke had once joked that the only hive of scum and villainy more wretched than Mos Eisley was the Hosnian system.

Leia hadn’t found that very funny.

“Yes?” he says now, stretching his legs.

“We’re making planetfall,” the lieutenant says. 

“Very good, lieutenant.” Ben stands up, adjusting his robes. 

It’s been six years since he left the Jedi Order and all that came with it. Six years since he took Snoke’s advice and went into politics. Six years since he shed his father’s name and became Ben Organa. Six years since he felt, for the first time in a long time, the warmth of his mother’s pride as he followed her footsteps. 

Politics come surprisingly easy to Ben. He knows a large part of that is because he was raised by a politician. The other part of it, he thinks, is because unlike his fellow politicians, he is trained in the Force. It’s proven useful, helps him discern the liars and the flatterers from those who are genuine. 

It helps him now, too, when he sets foot on the landing platform and immediately senses danger. 

“Look out!” he shouts, ducking and rolling a second before the detonator goes off. Those of his security detail who haven’t already flung themselves to the ground are carried away by the blast, crying out in shock and pain. Above him, he hears his security shouting at each other while an alarm sounds. 

“Get him out of here!” Captain Leedo shouts, and two pairs of arms grab Ben and pull him to his feet before leading him to the speeder that will take him to his residence. His guards surround him, shouting at one another and trying to cover him--but between their shoulders he glimpses the lieutenant from before lying very, very still on the platform.

.

“Do we know who did it?” Leia demands.

“We’re looking into it, Senator,” Captain Leedo says wearily. “The detonator was a standard design, it could have been purchased anywhere.”

Leia paces up and down the room.

“I’m all right,” Ben tries to tell her, but she shakes her head.

“An assassination attempt was made on your life and we have no leads.”

“We’ll find out soon.”

“What if we don’t?” Leia glances at him, softening. “Ben...whoever tried to kill you is going to come back until they succeed. We cannot let that happen.”

“What would you have me do?”

Leia hesitates. “It’s not you I would have do something.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s your uncle.”

Ben shakes his head. “Mom,  _ no _ . Jedi Knights aren’t the protectors of the Republic anymore.”

“I know,” she says. “But who better to protect you than your own blood?”

“I don’t want Luke,” he says firmly. 

“Well, I do.” Leia turns to C-3PO. “Get a transmission ready for Yavin 4.”

.

As they ride the elevator to Ben’s suite, Rey touches the japor snippet hanging at her chest. She doesn’t wear it very often, but Ben had said it would give her good fortune, and today, she needs good fortune.

It’s been six years since Ben left the Jedi Order. They still see each other now and then at his family’s lake house on Naboo or a rare function on Hosnian Prime, but he’s always busy, always focused on a bill or petition or what have you.

Rey doesn’t fully understand it, but he’s visibly flourishing in this field and she’s happy for him. 

Well. Maybe not flourishing right now, with an attempt on his life. She supposes that’s the sign of success, for someone to be so notable that someone else wants them dead, but she can’t help thinking it isn’t a very flattering compliment. 

She doesn’t really understand why Luke is bringing her along. There are dozens of older and more experienced Jedi to look after Ben.

“I’m bringing you because you know Ben,” Luke had said earlier. “I know he won’t listen to me, but you...he likes you.”

Rey isn’t so sure of that. Maybe Ben  _ used _ to like her, back when they’d been training together, but that had been six years ago and so much has changed since then. They live in different worlds now, and the handful of times they’ve talked since his departure from the Jedi Order have been stilted and polite. If she’s going to be his protector, she’ll have to accompany him everywhere. They’ll have to talk. And what if...what if they have nothing to talk about? What if Ben has changed? What if  _ she _ has changed?

“You’re nervous,” Luke says beside her.

“I don’t know why,” she admits. 

“Ben likes you,” Luke says again. “No amount of politics can make him forget that he thought of you as family for the four years you trained together.”

Rey isn’t so sure, but she doesn’t have time to say anything before the elevator doors open. They step out and into a lounge area, where Ben, Leia, and Han are all sitting.

Leia is the first to get to her feet, gliding towards them with an open, grateful expression.

“Luke!” She embraces her brother warmly. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“Of course. I would say it’s good to see you, but under the circumstances…”

She gives him a sad smile before turning to Rey. “I’m so glad you agreed to come, Rey,” she says, catching the younger woman in an embrace.

“Oh, um, of course,” Rey says, taken aback, as always, by how freely Leia gives her affection. 

“Hiya, kid,” Han says, wrapping an arm around her.

And then there’s Ben, and some stupid, silly part of her thinks,  _ Stars, he’s even more beautiful than I remember _ .

She reins in the thought before anyone can hear. “Hello, Ben.”

“Hello, Rey.” He doesn’t move to hug her or even shake her hand, which Rey supposes is for the best--she’s only spoken two words to him and she’s already feeling childishly giddy. 

She’d had such a crush on him when she was younger. It had largely gone away over the years, or so she thought--now, she’s beginning to think it was always there, just lying dormant.

Leia invites them in and has C-3PO bring out drinks. Ben looks irritated at this invasion of his home but diplomatically says nothing. 

“Have there been any leads?” Luke asks, straight to business. 

“Not yet, but we’re working on it,” Leia says with a grimace. 

“Can you think of anyone who has a grudge against you?” Rey asks Ben. “Someone who didn’t want a vote to carry?”

Ben looks surprised that she’s addressing him, as if maybe she’s the first person to do so since this whole thing started. He shakes his head. “Not enough to make an assassination attempt.”

“Relations between the Centrists and the Populists have become...tense,” Leia says. “I can’t imagine any of the Centrists going so far as an  _ assassination attempt _ , but I suppose we can’t rule out anything until we have a more concrete lead.”

“It could be a Populist,” Han pipes up. “Someone who wants to make it look like a Centrist. Or someone who just doesn’t want Ben representing their party.”

An uncomfortable silence follows. While Leia’s political career took a nosedive after the revelation that her biological father was Darth Vader, Ben has managed fairly well. He genuinely didn’t know about his heritage until everyone else did (after that, even--word from the Core travels slowly to Yavin 4), which in many eyes made him blameless. Being the unknowing grandson of such an evil man is a far cry from hiding the knowledge that he was your father. 

Still. Not everyone is pleased with Ben’s presence in the Republic. He is Darth Vader’s grandson and a smuggler’s son, and no matter that he never knew Darth Vader and that that smuggler became a general, there are many who fear Ben’s blood is tainted. Rey knows because Ben told her a long time ago, back when his political career was still starting out and they were still close. She can’t imagine much has changed in the last few years.

“It could always be the First Order,” Leia suggests. “Trying to get noticed.”

“That’s desperate, even for them,” Ben says.

The First Order is a radical group in the Unknown Regions. They idolize the Empire and believe it was a perfect system, one that they want to replicate. They don’t have the power for it, though, and are unlikely to have the wherewithal to attempt an assassination of a senator who poses no threat to them. 

“We’ll look into the matter,” Luke says. 

“That’s what security is for,” Ben says dully. 

“Ben,” Leia hisses.

“No offense, Uncle Luke, but this isn’t a task for the Jedi. Bringing you in was my mother’s choice, not mine.”

Rey bites her lip, trying not to feel the sting at his words. He didn’t even address her. 

“You are my nephew and I’m not letting you get killed because you’re too proud to accept help,” Luke says sharply. “Rey and I came here because we care about you.”

Rey feels Ben’s eyes on her, but she doesn’t look up. 

“I won’t stop you,” Ben says at last, turning his gaze from Rey. “But I won’t be taking orders from you, either.” 

“Never expected you would,” Luke says in a gruff sort of voice. “But I would like to offer a suggestion.”

“Here we go,” Ben mutters, rolling his eyes. 

“If we want to catch this person, we need you to keep a high profile.”

Ben looks at his uncle in surprise. “You  _ want _ me to be visible?”

Rey finally speaks up. “We need to draw them out. They will wait for the right opportunity, and if you’re hiding, they’ll just get creative. But if they know you’re going to be at a very public event, they’ll come after you.”

Ben meets her gaze. “So you want me to offer myself as bait.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Rey challenges, some of her old feistiness returning.

A smile flickers across Ben’s face. “No. I like it.”

“I don’t,” Leia says. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It will be more dangerous if they get desperate,” Luke says. 

“We just have to hope they’re desperate enough to walk into a trap.” Ben leans back, rubbing his jaw. “This isn’t the worst plan you’ve ever had, Uncle Luke.”

“Much as I appreciate the compliment, it was Rey’s idea.”

Ben’s eyes linger on Rey. “In that case, it’s a great plan.”

For some reason, she blushes.

“There’s a charity gala next week,” Ben continues. “Lady Carise Sindian is hosting it. I wasn’t planning to go, but that might be our best bet.”

“All notable Centrists will be there, and even some of the Populists,” Leia says slowly. “If this is politically motivated...the person behind it could be there.”

“And if they hear Ben is going, they’ll definitely be there,” Han agrees. 

Rey isn’t so sure of that--it would be smart of the person planning the assassination to avoid the gala. In fact, it would be smart of them to not even be on the same planet, just to make them look that much more removed from the situation. Then again, a gala is a good alibi--plenty of eyewitnesses scrutinizing their every move. 

“Then let’s plan for the gala,” Luke says. “I’d like to meet with your head of security and go over a few things.”

“Sure.” Ben comms someone named Leedo. “Now if you don’t mind, everyone, it’s been an exhausting day, and I’d like to rest.”

Han and Leia leave, though not before a deal of fussing on Leia’s part. As she’s headed out the door, Leia pauses and hugs Rey again. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Rey--I’ll sleep easier tonight knowing my son’s life is in your hands.”

And then she heads out the door, oblivious to the anxiety she’s given Rey. 

_ Ben’s life is in my hands. _

She expects to be left alone with this troubling thought, but then the door to Ben’s suite opens and he pokes out his head. “Are they all gone?” At her mute nod, he sighs in relief and steps out fully. “Thank the stars, I thought they’d never leave. Drink?”

Rey watches, bemused, as he saunters to the bar and pours himself something blue. “No thank you.”

“Suit yourself.” He turns to her, smiling. “I need one. A strong one.”

“After today, I bet you do.”

“Dealing with my family is drink worthy,” he sighs.

She raises her eyebrows. “I  _ meant _ the assassination attempt.”

“Oh.” His face puckers. “ _ That _ . That was stressful too.”

“You don’t seem very stressed about it.”

“I’m compartmentalizing—something you have to learn when you’re in politics.” He sips his drink and then says with surprising gentleness, “It’s good to see you, Rey.”

“You too,” she says. “Though I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.”

“Yeah, me too.” He gives her a wry look. “So Luke dragged you into this?”

“He asked if I would,” she says. “But I wanted to see you.” 

Something in Ben’s face softens. “I’m glad—we don’t see each other much anymore.”

“No, we don’t.”

Ben’s eyes flicker to her chest. “You still have it,” he says with a wide smile. 

Rey glances down at the japor snippet and tries not to blush. “Of course I still have it. It’s the only thing anyone ever made for me.”

Ben sobers. “Right. I…” He runs his hand through his hair. “You’ve really grown up, Rey.”

Before Rey can say anything (but really, what is she supposed to say to that?), Luke and Captain Leedo return. The warm, friendly atmosphere evaporates as Ben straightens up. 

“We’ve discussed your security, Senator, and Master Skywalker and I both agree that in addition to ‘round the clock security, either he or Master Rey should be with you at all times.”

Rey always starts to hear her name like that.  _ Master Rey. _ No one calls her that at the temple. She’s just Rey to them. 

“I don’t want--” Ben starts to say, but Luke raises a hand.

“I know you don’t want us to be your bodyguards, and I understand that. But if we make it look like you’re under heavy guard, that may deter your assassin--especially if you appear to relax your guard and attend the gala.”

“Make them worry, then give them an opportunity they can’t afford not to take,” Ben muses. “I see.”

“Which brings me to the second part of that plan.” Luke takes a seat in the lounge. “You will need close security when you’re at the gala. Most of the galaxy knows my face, but Rey is a virtual nobody. I think Rey should go to the gala in plain clothes--well, you know what I mean--so that she can protect you if anything happens.”

“Oh no,” Rey says at once. “Master, I have no idea how to act or dress--”

“Leia will take care of that,” Luke says, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes. “And it won’t really matter so long as you stay close to Ben and don’t stick out.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she mutters. She’s never been to a gala. She’s never been to anything more formal than a dinner. How she’s supposed to accompany Ben to this thing without drawing attention is beyond her.

To her horror, Ben says, “I like it.” At her look, he shrugs and says, “Better than having to spend the gala with Uncle Luke.” 

  
  



	4. Movement IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, just a note that if you haven't read the tags, please do and decide whether this fic is for you! I'm happy to talk more in-depth if you wish.
> 
> Also, [I have a pillowfort!](https://www.pillowfort.io/jeynepoole)

Ben has trouble sleeping that night. Not surprisingly--the events of the last twelve hours have done little to induce sleep. 

Oddly, out of all that’s happened--the assassination attempt, his parents and uncle descending on him, agreeing to act as bait for a trap that could go horribly wrong, volunteering to attend a charity gala thrown by Lady Carise--the most jarring thing that’s happened is seeing Rey again.

He doesn’t know why. He’s seen Rey since he left the Jedi Temple on Yavin 4. Hell, she’s stayed at Varykino at the same time as him. Not that they’d seen much of each other--he’s been busy making a name for himself, and he imagines that Rey has been fully devoting herself to the Force. She’s certainly calmer than she used to be, but he can still detect the spitfire that lies beneath the surface.

She’s beautiful now, too, which shouldn’t be surprising but somehow is. She’d never been ugly, but he’s so used to seeing her as a child. Seeing her now, as an adult, is odd enough, but to find her beautiful…

He isn’t quite sure what to make of that. 

It’s late when he gives up and pads back out to the bar to pour himself a drink. He’s relieved to find that Rey is the one sitting watch in the lounge, which means that Luke is asleep. 

“Are you all right?” she asks softly.

He shrugs, pouring a healthy dose of Corellian Gold. “Can’t sleep.” He shakes the bottle a little, the liquid sloshing around its container. “Sure you don’t want any?”

“I’m sure,” she says.

He shrugs again. “Suit yourself.” He sits at the other end of the couch, sipping the liquor. “You’re a real Jedi now, huh?”

“I guess so,” she says, smiling. “I don’t think I’ll ever really stop learning, though.”

“Yeah.” Ben feels a sudden and strange desire to go back to Yavin 4. He’s happier here than he was there, but sometimes...sometimes he misses studying the Force. He’s kept up his meditating and his lightsaber training when his schedule allows, but sometimes he thinks a retreat to the temple would be nice. Just a few days of quiet contemplation and reading, maybe even breaking out his old calligraphy set. “And you...like it?”

“Um. Yes?” She gives him a quizzical smile. 

He nods. “That’s good.” Truthfully, he feels a little sorry for Rey. She’s never really known the outside world. Oh, she’s been out in it, of course--but always at Luke’s side. She has no idea what it’s like to live a life outside of the Jedi Order. He wishes she’d try it. Not that he’d know where to start, but letting her wander off of Luke’s leash once in a while would be  _ something _ . At least then she’d have an idea.

“And you like politics?” she asks.

Ben blinks, then smiles. “Yes. It can be stressful, but I like the stress. It feels like I’m doing something meaningful.  _ Not _ that being a Jedi isn’t meaningful,” he adds quickly. “It’s just...this feels more...it feels like I can make more of a difference as a politician than I could have as a Jedi.

“Smooth recovery,” she says wryly. “No, but I understand what you mean. Politics is the right path for you, and the Jedi Order is the right path for me.”

Ben doesn’t know what to say to that. He sips from his Corellian Gold, swirling the liquid in the glass as they sit and look out his window. He likes the look of a city at night, all lit up like this. It gives him peace in a way few things can. 

“What,” she starts to ask, and then draws back.

“What?” he asks her.

She bites her lip. “Are we still friends?”

The question takes him aback. He never thought they stopped being friends, but he supposes it’s a fair question--after all, they haven’t spoken one-on-one like this in six years. “Of course we are.”

She relaxes a little, tucking her feet up underneath her. “Oh. Good.” Emboldened, she asks, “What made you decide to go into politics?”

He’s answered the question a thousand times for reporters and people interested in his background, and he always gives the same rote response about his mother and grandmother and wanting to make the galaxy a better place. But with Rey, he really thinks about his answer.

“I just felt like there was so much darkness in the galaxy,” he says slowly. “And at first I thought joining the Jedi would make a difference, but...while we were holed away in the temple, all these horrible things were--and still are--happening all over the Galactic Republic. People are being corrupted by money and power, people get hurt and even killed...and I couldn’t do anything about it. Maybe I still can’t. But I felt like becoming a politician was the most headfirst way to combat the corruption that’s become so intertwined with politics. I would’ve run for senator in any system--Chandrila just happens to be the one in which I was born. And now it feels like what I do matters. I’m just one person, just a drop in the ocean, but…”

“...what is an ocean, but a multitude of drops?” Rey finishes the quote, smiling. “I remember my philosophy lessons just as well as you, Your Highness.”

Ben groans. “Back to that, are we, scavenger?” 

“Hey.” She reaches over, giving his arm a small punch. “I’m not a scavenger anymore. You, meanwhile, will always have royal blood flowing through your veins.’

“Hmm.”

“Do you ever regret it?” she asks. “Leaving the Jedi Order.”

“No,” he says honestly. “There are times I miss certain aspects of it, but I know I made the right choice.”

Rey nods, but she feels light years away. Contemplating leaving the order herself, maybe?

But no, she would never. She believes she was destined to become a Jedi. She would never leave them the way Ben did. 

“It’s late,” he says after a moment. “I should try to sleep.”

She nods, standing awkwardly when he gets to his feet. “Let me...know if you need anything,” she says lamely.

“Like a bedtime story?” Seeing her flush, he says in a kinder voice, “Thank you, Rey. For protecting me.”

He thinks about her smile until sleep claims him at last.

.

The next few days fall into an uneasy sort of rhythm. Rey keeps watch at night while Luke keeps watch during the day, which means she has to accompany Ben to the senate and to all other public outings. Not that there are many--Ben has, after all, the great excuse of an assassination attempt to get out of attending such frivolous things. No one seems surprised at Luke’s presence--it’s only natural, they think, for the Jedi Knight to look out for his nephew in this trying time. None of them know that Luke has brought another Jedi with him. Ben and Luke hope to keep it that way.

Rey likes taking the night watch because it gives her plenty of time to meditate. When she’s not talking to Ben, of course.

They’re making a habit of their nightly conversations, curled up on opposite ends of the couch and chatting. Rey tells him about the temple, about the students he used to know and the ones that came after he left. In turn, he tells her about his career, how people were so against him for so long, how he’s had to fight tooth and nail to get where he is today. 

“You must be doing a good job,” she jokes, “or someone wouldn’t have tried to kill you.”

Ben, to her relief, finds that funny. 

He’s so much...softer now. Not that he wasn’t before, but so much of their friendship had been pushing each other’s buttons. That playfulness is still there, but it’s mellowed out into something calmer. They can talk seriously now, in a way that hadn’t always been possible when she was a child and he was growing up. Now they’re both grown up, and it shows.

“I’m nervous about the gala,” she admits one night. “I have no idea how to act like I...like I belong.”

“You’ll be fine,” he assures her. “Just...hang on my arm and you’ll be fine.”

Rey rolls her eyes.

“I’m just saying, if you play the part of the dumb, doting girlfriend, no one will think anything you do is odd,” he says, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

Rey flushes. “Oh.”

“It’s one night,” he says with a small laugh. “Surely you can pretend to like me for one night?”

“I do like you,” she says before she can quite stop herself, and then she flushes even harder. “When you’re not being a moof-milker.”

“Smooth recovery,” he teases, and Rey wants to die. 

She does like Ben, and more than she ought to. They can never be--Jedi are forbidden such attachments. And besides, who says Ben even wants her that way anyway? He probably still thinks of her as a child. Not just a child, either, but a child who’s like family. She’s certainly  _ acting _ like a child, smiling and blushing around an older man who isn’t interested in her in the slightest. Ben has probably been with dozens of women, all far more attractive than her. 

_ These are not the thoughts of a Jedi, _ she chastises herself. 

Still, she can’t help herself from asking him, “Have you been with many women?”

“Have I  _ been _ with many women?” he asks with an excited sort of snort. 

“Never mind,” she starts to mutter, but he shakes his head.

“A few,” he says, growing serious. 

“Is it...what’s it like?” she blurts before she can stop herself. 

Ben seriously considers her question. “It’s...nice,” he says at last. “It’s easier when you know them well. But sometimes it’s easier if you don’t know them at all.” He pauses, collecting his next words. “It’s very intimate, which is why sometimes anonymity helps. It can be...scary...to do it with someone you know but don’t know if they like you as much as you like them.” 

“What about someone you love?” she prods.

“I wouldn’t know,” he says softly. “I’ve never done it with someone I love.” 

Rey flushes at that. “Have you ever...have you ever been in love?” 

Ben surprises her by saying, “Yes.”

She looks at him expectantly. 

“She was a handmaiden to the Queen of Naboo,” he clarifies. “She’d made a career out of it, actually--that was her third queen to serve.” He takes a deep breath. “She was different from the others. I can’t really explain it. But she said she fell in love with me because I was the only person to really notice her. We met up on the rare occasions the queen gave her a break  and just...talked.” 

“What happened?” Rey asks, and for a fearful moment, she wonders if they’re still together. 

He shakes his head. “We were too dedicated to our respective duties. We knew it wouldn’t have worked long-term, and we were okay with that.” 

Rey chews her lip. Could such a relationship with Ben be possible? Could they share a few stolen moments here and there to let themselves feel more than they can act upon?

_ No _ , she tells herself.  _ It can never be. You are a Jedi and you’ve forsaken such attachments _ .

It doesn’t stop her from wondering, though. 

.

“Senator Organa!”

Ben tenses as he hears the unfortunately familiar tones of Lady Carise Sindian. He pastes a smile on his face before turning to look at her. “Lady Carise.”

She extends her hand, beaming when he kisses it as custom dictates. “How are you faring these days?”

“Oh, as well as can be expected,” he sighs. “I would be better if my uncle wasn’t shadowing my every step.” He nods at Luke, who has remained a respectful distance aside.

“Oh, but we’re all so thrilled to see Master Skywalker!” she titters. “I hope you’ll bring him to the gala.”

“The gala?” Ben asks, as if he’s forgotten. “Oh, yes...well, strictly speaking, I don’t know if my security would approve of such an outing.”

Lady Carise juts out her lower lip in a childish pout. “But it would be such a bore if you didn’t come! You need a little distraction after that ghastly assassination attempt.”

Ben pretends to slowly cave. “Yes but...my security…”

“Silly boy, I’ll have the place well-guarded!” she cries. “Please, say you’ll come!”

“Well...all right,” he allows. “I suppose my uncle will allow that. And if not,” he says conspiratorially, “I will make him see reason.”

Lady Carise fairly trills with excitement. “Oh, I’m so happy!” She blathers on about all the attractions at the gala and who all will be attending and Ben tries to remind himself that it will be worth it if they catch the person trying to kill him.

“So, Lady Carise knows I’m coming to her gala,” Ben says as he and Luke climb in their speeder. “Which means all of Hosnian Prime will know in a matter of hours.”

“Let’s hope so.”

Ben sends a comm to his mother, telling her the same thing. 

“Oh, the entire galaxy will know by the time we hang up,” she says wryly. “Did you tell her you’re bringing a date?”

“No.”

“Oh, you should’ve--that would have guaranteed word get out. Ah, well. Speaking of, I’ll send over a gown for Rey.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Don’t mention it--I’ve been wanting to dress that girl up for years.”

Ben would be lying if he said the same thought hadn’t occurred to him. He’s only ever seen Rey in the plain wear of a Jedi, who cast off worldly goods when joining the order. He’d like to see her wearing an elegant gown--and as of tomorrow, his wish will come true. He wonders what his mother will pick out for her.

.

“Are you nervous?” Rey asks him that night.

“A little,” he admits. “Mostly that we’ll have underestimated whoever’s behind this. And relieved as I am that I’ll have you at my side, there’s only so much we can do if they’re overly desperate. They might not care how many people get killed along the way, as long as they can get to me.”

“They’d have to be truly evil to do that,” Rey says gently. “I’m sure there won’t be another detonator.”

“But what if there is?” he counters. “Our lightsabers won’t help us then.”

Rey bites her lip. “No,” she allows. “They won’t. But I won’t let them hurt you, Ben.”

She sounds so earnest--it’s endearing. “That’s a nice thought, Rey, and I appreciate it, but if this person is determined enough…”

Rey looks at him and then smiles. “You know, all this time I didn’t think you were that worried about it...but you really are, aren’t you?”

“I told you, I’m good at compartmentalizing.” He runs a hand through his hair. “That, and I’ve been trying not to think too much about it because I know it’ll just make me worry more. But twenty four hours from now, I may not be alive. It’s...a sobering thought.” 

“You will be alive,” she says fiercely. “I won’t let them kill you.”

Ben has the sudden, wild urge to kiss her. He doesn’t quite know why, and he doesn’t act on it, but the thought is there all the same. 

“I should go to bed,” he says. 

“Sleep well,” she tells him.

“I certainly will with you looking after me,” he teases. Rey flushes and he resists an even stronger urge to kiss her. Instead, he goes to his room, and though it fills him with shame, he takes himself in hand.

He thinks of Rey the entire time.

  
  



	5. Movement V

Rey wakes mid-afternoon when Leia comes bearing a gown. Rey has never worn one before, a fact of which she and Leia are all too aware, so the older woman helps her get ready for the gala. Rey washes herself thoroughly in the refresher, after which Leia applies a cream that will take the hair off of her legs and armpits. It makes Rey sad to watch them go, but it’s fashionable to be hairless in those places, and Rey doesn’t want to draw any more attention than is necessary. 

After the cream, Leia sits Rey down on the bed and braids her hair into a crown. This done, she applies makeup to the younger woman’s face.

“Do I really need all this?” Rey asks, trying not to sound like she’s complaining too much as Leia applies yet more.

“Yes,” Leia says bluntly. “To fit in with these people you do. Trust me, I’m using as little as I can.”

It feels odd and foreign to Rey, but Leia assures her that once it sets, it will only come off with makeup remover. This means Rey can touch her face as she would normally and not worry about smudging anything.

Finally, Leia helps her into her gown. Rey’s had to abandon the wrappings she wears around her chest, and she’s uncomfortably aware of the size, shape, and feel of her breasts as she slips into the gown. It’s easily the most elegant thing Rey has ever worn. The hem brushes the floor, which Rey doesn’t love, but it means that she gets to wear flats underneath instead of heels, thus making it easier to move in case something really does happen. The bodice is a little sheer for Rey’s liking, a confection of lace and silk that displays more of her skin than she’s necessarily willing to show to the world, but the skirt is full enough that she’s easily able to conceal her lightsaber and a blaster. 

When she finally steps out, awkwardly trying to maneuver in the dress, it’s to find Ben and Luke in the lounge, already dressed and ready for the gala. Well, Ben is--Luke is in his usual roughspun robes.

Ben leaps to his feet when Rey comes out, his eyes wide as he takes her in. Rey can’t help blushing--she’s sure she looks strange and out of place in this getup.

“Do I look okay?” she asks nervously.

Ben huffs out a small laugh. “Rey, you look amazing.” 

She only blushes harder. “Thank you.”

He gallantly extends an arm. “Now let’s go walk into a trap.”

.

They’re nearly at the gala when Ben suddenly turns to her. “There will be paparazzi,” he tells her. “People will want to know who you are. Just ignore them.”

Rey thinks that will be easy--until they pull up to the building and she sees swarms of people with holorecorders. She accepts Ben’s help out of the speeder (she needs it what with her voluminous skirts) and blinks as people suddenly crowd her vision. Leedo and another security guard Rey doesn’t know block them as best they can, but that doesn’t stop people from leaping in their way and shouting at Rey. Most of the questions are directed at Ben-- “Senator, are you worried about the recent assassination attempt on your life?” “Why do you think someone was trying to kill you?” “Who’s your date tonight, Senator?”--but a few get hurled her way.

“Who are you?”

“Are you dating Senator Organa?”

“Who are you wearing?”

“Are you fucking the senator?”

Before Rey can react to that last one, Ben wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his chest, hiding her face from the paps. She’s glad--she’s so flabbergasted at the  _ audacity _ of that person. 

“Don’t let them get to you,” he mutters into her ear. “They just want to get a rise, don’t give it to them, just keep walking.”

She does, relieved when they finally make it inside the building, leaving the crowd of shouting paps behind. 

Inside the building, however, is a different kind of chaos. Not a bad chaos, really, but chaos all the same.

There are hundreds of people packed into the ballroom. The lights keep changing colors, bathing the attendees in green and blue and purple and pink, and the air is full of the sound of strings and people chattering and laughing. Rey gratefully take’s Ben’s proffered arm, staying close as they head inside.

“This is so much,” she mutters. “The perfect place for another attempt.”

“Let’s hope there is one, and that it isn’t successful,” he mutters back.

A woman flutters up to them, beaming at the sight of them. “Senator Organa!” she cries. “You made it! And you brought a friend!”

“Lady Carise Sindian,” Ben says to Rey. “The hostess of this event. Lady Carise, may I introduce Kira?”

“It’s  _ lovely _ to meet you, Kira,” Lady Carise gushes. “And are you also from Chandrila?”

“Yes,” Rey says. “That’s where we met.” She turns what she hopes is a doting look towards Ben.

“Well, aren’t you just  _ lovely _ ! I’d stay and chat more, but I have to say hello to everyone--enjoy the party!” And with that, Lady Carise breezes away.

“She’s, um…” 

“A lot,” Ben fills in. “I know. Come on--I can hear your stomach rumbling from here.” 

Ben leads her to the tables lining the walls, where he picks delicately at some finger food. Rey tries to be just as delicate, but she hasn’t eaten much today and she’s starving. She’s just shoved a shrimp something or other in her mouth when something prickles her awareness. She swallows, looking around. 

“Ben,” she says under her breath.

“I feel it too,” he murmurs, pretending to be debating which hors d'oeuvre to take next. Rey turns her back to the table, taking in the ballroom. There is, she notices with mingled distress and relief, a second level that looks down on the first--the ideal place for an assassin to hit their target. She tries to see if anyone is acting suspicious, but it’s hard to tell with so many people milling around up there. It’s hard, too, when people keep glancing at her and Ben--are they looking because they’re the assassin, or just because they don’t know Rey and love to gossip?

“Let’s give them a clearer shot,” Rey murmurs. She raises her hand as if smoothing her hair; really, she’s speaking into the comm bracelet Leia gave her. “We’re opening up a target.”

“Be careful,” Luke’s voice cautions.

“We will, Master.” Rey takes Ben’s arm and leads him out to the center of the floor. Thankfully, no one is dancing, which gives her and Ben the opportunity to stand and pretend to have a very intense conversation. 

“Regretting agreeing to be live bait?” she asks, lips twitching.

“Just a little,” he says. “I see them.”

“You do?” She resists the urge to turn around. “Where?”

“On the balcony. Behind you. It’s a man. He’s pulling something out of his pocket.” Ben says this so that Luke, still on the comm, can hear. 

“Tell me when,” Rey says, hand inching into her pocket.

“Almost.” He reaches into his own robes. “It’s a blaster...NOW!”

Rey turns around, lightsaber humming to life just as the man fires. She deflects the shot, sending it to his hand and knocking the blaster from it. Screams erupt all over the ballroom as Captain Leedo and his hired guns run for the stairs, Rey still holding her lightsaber.

She feels the second shot a second before it lands, whirling around and deflecting that shot, too. The man on the other side of the balcony breaks into a run. But Captain Leedo and his men are so busy with the first man that they don’t see the second; sharing a look, Ben and Rey nod before tearing after the second man.

“There’s a second man,” Rey shouts into her comm. “He’s on the second level, headed for the southwest exit.”

“I’m on it,” Luke says, but Ben and Rey don’t slow down. Rey hikes up her skirts with her free hand, gathering them in her arm as she and Ben run for the stairs. She’s so, so glad Leia let her wear flats--this would be impossible in heels.

To get to the exit, they have to run down a service corridor, passing numerous serving droids loading food and drinks onto plates as they go. When they get to the exit, it’s to find Luke waiting in the speeder.

“He didn’t come out this way?” Rey demands.

Luke shakes his head. “Not that I saw.”

“Well, he can’t still be inside--” Ben is saying, but a blaster shot sizzles past him. Rey twirls her saber, but the man from before is already hopping into another speeder and zooming away. Ben and Rey fling themselves into Luke’s speeder; he takes off before they’re fully inside, racing after the other speeder. 

It’s a long chase, one that takes them through various lanes of traffic on almost every level of the city. The other speeder is always just ahead of them, just slightly out of reach. 

“Get above him,” Rey finally orders. “I have an idea.”

Luke soars up into the lane above them, eliciting a few angry blasts from other pilots. He ignores them, angling himself right above the other speeder.

Rey gathers her skirts in her arm, takes a deep breath, and drops down onto the target’s speeder. She hears Luke and Ben shout above her, but she ignores them, landing in the passenger seat. The man shouts, too, but she grabs his head and slams it against the control panel until he’s too disoriented to fight back. She quickly takes control of the speeder, maneuvering down and into a back alley. Luke and Ben follow, both men leaping out with lightsabers drawn.

Rey holds her own blade to the man’s throat as he looks around, blinking.

“Who hired you?” she demands.

“Don’t know,” he croaks.

“You’re lying.” Rey presses the blade a little closer, a hissing sound escaping his throat as he feels the heat. “Tell us who hired you.”

He shakes his head, angling away from the blade.

“If you won’t tell us, we’ll pull it from you.” Ben powers down his lightsaber and approaches the man, hand raised. Rey can feel him delving into the man’s thoughts, and disoriented as the would-be assassin is, he has no brain power to fight off Ben’s advances. 

Ben draws back as if scalded. “Lady Carise,” he breathes.

The man nods miserably.

“Why?” Ben demands.

“She didn’t say why,” the man says, and Rey knows he’s telling the truth. “Just told us to do it.”

She glances at Luke; he nods, and Rey raises her hand, knocking out the man. She powers down her blade and climbs out of the speeder. “This...complicates things.”

“I’ll say.” Ben looks pale. “I had a feeling it would be a Centrist, but Lady Carise…”

“It’s no wonder they had such easy access,” Rey realizes. “If she arranged the whole thing…”

“But why her?” Ben asks. “What could she have to gain from my death?”

“I don’t know,” Luke says. “But there’s only one way to find out.”

They call the Hosnian authorities on the man in the speeder and wait to give a report. Because of Ben’s political standing and because Luke is Luke Skywalker, they’re allowed to leave relatively quickly, taking the speeder back to Ben’s suite. There, they sit with Han and Leia and wait anxiously for word from the authorities.

It’s Captain Leedo who bears the bad news.

“Lady Carise fled almost as soon as you did,” he says grimly. “Her transport left before your report was filed--no one has any idea where she is now.”

Ben gets up and pours himself a large drink.

“What does this mean?” Leia asks in a clipped voice. 

“We’re going to keep searching for Lady Sindian,” Leedo assures her. “But until she’s caught, we can’t guarantee the senator’s safety.”

Leia gets up and pours herself a drink, too.

“I think,” Luke says slowly, “it’s time to go into hiding.”

Ben turns to face him sharply. “What?”

“Until Lady Sindian’s motives become clear and until she and whoever she’s working with are caught, we can’t take any chances,” Luke explains. “Our trap worked, but it didn’t resolve the issue, and I think for now, you need to lay low.”

Ben’s jaw works furiously. “That isn’t going to solve anything, except for making them grow desperate.”

“We need them to grow desperate,” Rey says quietly, and Ben swings to look at her. She clears her throat. “Lady Carise must be in league with someone--I don’t know much about her, but I do know that she wouldn’t go to this much effort if there wasn’t something in it for her. Now that she’s disappeared, we have to wait for her or whoever she’s working with to slip up, and they’re not going to do that as long as you’re a visible target. If you go into hiding, they’ll get nervous, and that nervousness will make them act rashly.”

Ben considers her for a long moment, and then, to her relief, he nods. “Fine.”

Everyone in the room seems to breathe a sigh of relief.

“He could go to Varykino,” Han suggests. “It’s remote, and no one knows we own it. Plus it’s on Naboo, and they’d probably be looking for him on Chandrila.”

It’s a good idea. A brilliant idea, in fact. 

“I like it,” Luke says. “Though I don’t think we should go with Ben--it’ll be easier for them to find him if we all go.”

“Who’s going to look out for him, then?” Leia asks sharply.

“Rey is.”

Everyone turns to look at Rey. 

“ _ Me _ ?” she asks in surprise.

“You,” Luke says calmly. “As I said, it will be easier for them to find Ben if his family is with him, and since that counts me out, I trust you to protect him.”

This is...a lot of responsibility. But Rey knows Luke wouldn’t bestow it upon her if he didn’t think she was ready. “I will do my best.”

“Of course you will,” Leia says, an unreadable expression on her face. 

Rey glances at Ben, who seems calmer than he had a minute ago. He nods. “I trust you, too.”

That both relieves and terrifies her.

  
  



	6. Movement VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late--I'm visiting family for Christmas and it's been hectic!!

The journey to Naboo is a long one. Or at least, longer than what Ben is accustomed to. He’s used to the finest Chandrilan ambassadorial ships-- _ private _ ships. But they can’t very well take ambassadorial ships if they’re trying to avoid notice, so he and Rey disguise themselves as travelers and take a mass transport to Naboo. 

It’s uncomfortable. The transport is crowded and has no beds--if passengers want to sleep, they can do so on the floor or bring their own bedding. Ben ends up staying awake through the journey. Rey, on the other hand, sleeps like a baby. Ben lets her--neither of them slept the night before, having packed and prepared to take the next available transport, and his life isn’t in any immediate danger. He’ll sleep when they reach Varykino. 

Honestly, of all the hiding places Luke could have suggested, Varykino has got to be the best. Not only is it remote, but it’s Ben’s favorite place to be. When he meditates, he imagines himself at Varykino, standing on the balcony of his room in the early morning, alone in the world but for the lake lapping against the dock and the birds singing in the trees.

He privately thinks that it will be nice, too, to be there without his family. This is already a stressful situation, and he knows his parents won’t make it any easier by hovering over him. At least this way he can pretend he’s on vacation and relax until the person making attempts on his life is caught. If they ever are.

He wakes Rey when they serve food, and her irritation at waking disappears as soon as she gets a whiff of whatever slop they’re serving. Ben picks at it, unimpressed, but Rey wolfs it down as if it’s her last meal. She’s always been like that.

“What?” she demands, and he realizes he’s smiling.

“Nothing,” he says. “I just...remember when Luke and I first found you hiding in the  _ Falcon _ ?”

“How could I forget?” she says, voice softening.

“You ate then like you do now.”

Her cheeks flush a little. “Just because I eat with...enthusiasm…”

He laughs. “That’s definitely one way to put it.”

She frowns. “No need to be so high-and-mighty, Your Princeliness. Not all of us grew up with etiquette and protocol droids.”

“True,” he allows. “But I wasn’t saying it to insult you. I think it’s rather endearing.” 

Rey turns red. “Oh. Thank...thank you?”

He shrugs, turning back to his meal. Or trying to. It really isn’t very good. “Do you want mine…?”

She hesitates.

“I promise I wasn’t making fun of you.”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s all right.”

He feels bad. He knows she’s only refusing because he drew attention to her eating habits in the first place. “Rey, really, I--” 

“I have to use the refresher,” she says, getting up.

He could kick himself.  _ Very smooth, Solo _ . 

When she gets back, he opens his mouth to apologize, but she wordlessly takes his bowl and eats. 

“You hurt my feelings,” she says through a mouthful of food. “But not enough for me to turn down seconds. I like food and I have bad table manners and you’ll just have to get used to it.”

“Fair enough,” he says, deciding not to argue with her. “But again--I really do find it endearing.”

She turns red again. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I know.” He shrugs. “But it’s true.” 

Rey looks as if she doesn’t quite know what to make of that.

Ben doesn’t either, truth be told. He doesn’t know why he’s telling her that he finds her eating endearing. He doesn’t know why he wanted to kiss her the other night. He doesn’t know why he took himself in hand while thinking of her. 

Ben knows that Jedi have justified carnal relations by denying an emotional attachment. The Jedi were not banned from having sex, only from forming a relationship. Technically, Rey could have sex with him if she wanted, and though Luke would disapprove (if he ever found out), he wouldn’t be able to kick her out of the Jedi Order for it. 

But at the same time, Ben knows Rey wouldn’t be able to have sex  _ without _ forming an emotional attachment. Strong though she may be, she gives with her whole heart, and casual sex just isn’t something he thinks she’s capable of doing.

And if he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t think he could be capable of casual sex with Rey, either. She’s one of his oldest and closest friends, and he likes her much more than he ought to. 

It suddenly occurs to him that they’re about to spend an unknowable length of time alone at Varykino together. Just the two of them, no one else. It could be days. Weeks, even. Just him and Rey and no one to stop them from…

From what? Breaking her vows? 

“Are you all right?” Rey asks. 

He shakes himself out of his thoughts. “What?”

“Are you all right? You feel...distressed.”

“Just...thinking about everything,” he says, not untruthfully.

Rey nods. “We’ll find them soon, and then you can get back to normal.”

But as he looks at Rey, Ben can’t help thinking that normal suddenly sounds very unappealing.

.

After docking in Theed, the pair hire a private transport to take them to the Lake Country. Ben is so exhausted that he sleeps for most of the ride. Leia commed the caretaker earlier, so he’s waiting with the boat when they arrive at the dock. What little luggage they’d brought is secured, and then they’re setting off across the vast body of water.

Rey had nearly forgotten how beautiful it is here. There’s so much green, which, even after all these years on Yavin 4, she never fails to appreciate, and so much  _ water _ . Sparkling and soft, the boat cuts neatly through the sea of green as they speed to the villa. Varykino is just as breathtaking as she remembers it being, soft and lovely and inviting. She remembers being a child here and exploring every nook and cranny until she was satisfied. 

She’s worked up a bit of a sweat--she’d dressed warmly for the transport to Naboo, which she knew would be cold, but the Lake Country is sunny as ever and her warm travel things are sticking uncomfortably to her skin. She didn’t bring a bathing suit with her, so she waits until the caretaker is gone before stripping down to a tank top and underwear and sidling out to the lake. 

Ben is already floating in the water, eyes closed as the sun warms his bare skin. And there’s a lot of that—the swim shorts he wears show off his powerful legs. 

Rey sits at the edge of the dock, dipping her feet in the water. Ben opens his eyes, smiling when he sees her. “Join me?”

“In a minute.” She closes her eyes, tipping back her head as she takes in the sound and feel of the lake. Then, she slides into the water. 

It feels  _ amazing _ . It’s just cool enough to make her feel cleansed of the sweat without being uncomfortably cold. She dunks her entire body under the surface, smiling blissfully when she comes up for air. 

“Perfect, right?” he asks.

She nods. “Yeah—perfect.”

“Do you want to swim out to the island?”

She shields her eyes as she looks out to said island. It’s a long distance, but she used to swim it easily, and she’s older and stronger now. “Sure.”

They paddle their way out to the island, taking their time to roll on their backs and admire the scenery. When they finally do make it to the island, they collapse on the sand, pleasantly exhausted by the trip. Rey flops onto her back, flinging one arm over her face so she won’t be blinded by the sun. She feels Ben lie down a few feet away. 

“We used to do this when we were younger,” he says. “Remember?”

“I do.” She remembers finding him out here when his parents and Luke were too much for him to handle. He’d swum out here a few times even after he left the order, but she hadn’t followed him then. She wonders why. 

Maybe she’d been afraid that his leaving the order was akin to leaving her, no matter how many times everyone assured her that that wasn’t the case. 

When she pulls her arm from her face, she sees Ben staring at her. Specifically, staring at the tank top she’s sporting. She looks down and realizes that her nipples are poking at the wet fabric, which is clinging to her skin. She sits up, blushing. 

“I didn’t have a bathing suit,” she mutters.

“That’s okay—no one but me here to judge you.”

_ No one but me here.  _ Rey realizes, not for the first time, how very alone they are here. Anything could happen. 

She takes a deep breath, folding her arms over her chest. Ben tears his eyes away. “I’m sorry--”

“It’s fine.” She gets up, painfully aware of how much skin she’s showing. 

“Rey...” He gets up too. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have stared--”

“It’s fine,” she says again, but he grabs her arm and spins her around and Rey--

Rey kisses him. 

Or, she tries to. She’s never kissed anyone before, so she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She makes to pull back, but then Ben grabs her arms and  _ he’s _ kissing  _ her _ and it’s so much  _ better _ this way. His lips are sure against hers, setting a rhythmic sort of motion that she likes. She melts against him, arms wrapping around his neck to keep herself close as she learns to kiss him. 

_ You’re kissing Ben, you’re supposed to be protecting him _ . 

It’s this thought which makes her push away from him. 

“No.” 

He looks abashed. “Rey--”

“We shouldn’t have done that,” she says, staring at her feet. She sees Ben shift his weight from one foot to the other. Then, suddenly, he walks around her and marches straight into the water. She turns in surprise, watching him paddle all the way back to Varykino.

Rey sighs and flops on the sand.

.

_ Why had he done that?! _

He asks himself that the whole swim back to the villa. The cool water does little to ease his hardness, so when he gets back, he pads to the refresher and takes himself in hand.

Again.

Stars, why had he done that? They’ve been at Varykino less than two hours and he’s already tried to kiss her. No, not even tried, he  _ did _ kiss her. 

And she’d pushed him away and told him they shouldn’t have.

Of course they  _ shouldn’t _ have, but they  _ did _ and now...now he doesn’t know how he’s going to spend the duration of their time together. 

He feels better after he jerks himself off--more clear-headed. 

Or at least, he is until he sees her again. Specifically, just out of the refresher and wearing a light, silken tunic he didn’t know she owned. It makes her look softer, somehow. 

In contrast, he feels himself getting hard again. 

She’s sitting cross-legged on one of the couches in the main parlor, eating from a heaping bowl of fruits and vegetables and watching a holovid. She freezes when he enters. 

“I was just--”

“I didn’t mean to--”

They pause, waiting for the other to continue. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he says. “You’re right--we shouldn’t have done that. It won’t happen again.” 

She relaxes. “Oh. Thank...thank you.” 

He nods tersely. “What are you watching?” 

She gives him a guilty smile. “ _ Danger on Dathomir _ .”

Ben’s eyes widen at the title. “I almost forgot that holovid existed!” He joins her on the couch,  watching in delight as one of their old favorites plays out in front of them. “We thought it was so cool, remember?”

“It’s so bad,” she laughs. “Like, supremely bad.”

It really is. Ben had forgotten. He’d grown up watching it, and by the time Rey started visiting Varykino with Luke, he’d been convinced it was a perfect holovid. Six years and exposure to better holovids have changed his opinion. He and Rey still watch it to its conclusion, and then they watch the sequel,  _ Danger on Dathomir II _ , because why not? 

It’s late by the time it finishes, and they’ve plowed their way through a sizeable amount of food. The caretaker will come by in a few days to stock them up--the only person they’ll see during their stay. 

Rey has fallen asleep, curled up as always. He thinks it’s something left over from when she lived on Jakku, huddled up to protect herself from the cold seeping into the AT-AT she called home. Even now, ten years later and in a warm place, she still huddles up like that in her sleep. 

Ben debates leaving her on the couch. He doesn’t want to wake her, nor does he want her to get a crick in her neck from the way she’s sleeping. The only solution...is to move her himself. 

Slowly, he slips one arm underneath her neck while the other grasps the back of her knees. Careful not to jolt her, he stands with her in his arms, carrying her as gently as possible up the stairs and to her room. It takes a long time to get there, both because of the distance and because he’s trying not to wake her, but thankfully, she’s light as a feather. When he finally reaches her room, he sets her down on her bed, pulling the covers up around her. She breathes deeply, head lolling to the side as he dims the light panel. 

He hesitates, then leans over and kisses her forehead. “Sweet dreams,” he murmurs, and then retreats from the room. 

  
  



	7. Movement VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry this chapter is late--I got fired on Friday and it's made this a really rough weekend. Here's hoping that the new year will bring better times for all of us.
> 
> This chapter is rated E, but since this is the only really explicit chapter, I'm not upping the rating. Enjoy.

Things seem all right after  _ Danger on Dathomir _ . They get along like the old friends that they are, cooking together and reading in the library together. Best of all is when they spar together. 

They spar outside on the terrace, blades clashing with increasing speed and ferocity as they become more and more intent on their sessions. They’re always sweaty and breathless by the time they’re done, and they almost always take a dip in the lake after. 

Rey stays underwater the entire time they’re in the lake together. Sometimes Ben swims out to the island, but she doesn’t join him. Neither of them acknowledge it. 

Rey hopes they catch Lady Sindian soon--not just for Ben’s safety, but also because she’s afraid that the longer they’re cooped up here, the harder it will be for her to resist temptation. She is, she has to admit, still very attracted to Ben--and now she knows that that attraction is at least somewhat requited. It would be so easy for another slip-up to happen.

But another slip-up  _ cannot  _ happen. 

Technically, sex isn’t forbidden by the Jedi Code, contrary to popular opinion. Some of the students have had sex with each other and Luke never had a problem with it. It’s attachments that are forbidden. Specifically, attachments that would cause them to waver in their devotion to the Jedi Order. Ben...Ben would cause Rey to waver in her devotion to the Jedi Order. She knows she would be incapable of having sex or any kind of physical intimacy with him without also forming an attachment.

And that’s why another slip-up cannot happen. One more kiss and she’s doomed. 

.

The caretaker comes four days after bringing them to the villa to restock their food. He brings more than Ben is sure they can eat in four days--then again, knowing Rey, perhaps it’s just the right amount. 

“We should have a picnic,” Rey says after he leaves. “Like your mother used to take us on, remember?”

He does remember--whenever they’d get restless, Leia would pack a basket and force the two of them to come on a picnic to the meadows. It was always fun--they’d wear themselves out running and frolicking, and it would be enough to hold them over until it was time to leave. Neither of them are exactly restless yet, but Ben does suspect that they will be soon. It’s also, he thinks, probably a good idea for them to get out of the villa so that they won’t be tempted to…

Well. So that they won’t be tempted.

They bring their sabers with them--partly for protection, partly so that they can spar. They find a nice, open area away from the grazing shaaks and set down their picnic supplies before shedding what layers they don’t need. Then, they spar.

It’s the best they’ve ever done. Out in the open, without fear of breaking thousand-year-old architecture, they are freer than usual. They advance and retreat, pushing and pulling at each other as they never have. Even when they sparred all those years ago, Rey had been an inexperienced child. Now she is a true Jedi Knight, Ben’s equal in the Force. 

Their combat shifts so that it’s closer, jabbing into each other’s space. No more wide arcs and swings; they are all close thrusts and parries, blades hissing as they meet again and again and again. Ben’s height has him towering over her as their blades lock, Rey’s feet digging into the earth to ground her as she pushes back at him.

And then they look at each other and it just…happens. He doesn’t know which of them deactivates their lightsaber first--he only knows that they fall to the ground with soft thuds and then he’s kissing Rey and she’s kissing him back and his blood is roaring in his ears.

How they end up on the ground, he doesn’t remember. All he knows is that he’s hovering over her body, kissing her and touching her through her clothes, when her head lolls to the side and she murmurs, “We shouldn’t.”

It all comes rushing back to him then. He rolls off of her, fingers tugging at his hair.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid _ . 

He can sense Rey sitting up behind him, breathing hard. He climbs to his feet, snatching up his lightsaber.

“Ben…” she calls after him. He reaches down for the picnic basket and starts back for the villa. 

“Ben!”

He ignores her. He doesn’t want to, but he can’t look at her right now. Not after what happened. 

He can sense her after a time, following from a distance. She doesn’t come close and he appreciates that. He doesn’t trust himself to be around her right now. 

When he gets back to the villa, he drops the picnic basket on the terrace and makes straight for the water. He strips down to his underwear, not even caring if Rey sees, and then dives into the lake. He heads straight for the island, which he circles three times before finally collapsing on the sandy shore.

How long he lies there, he doesn’t know, but it’s a long time. Long enough for his blood to stop roaring in his ears and his heart to stop pounding furiously. He breathes evenly, chest rising and falling as he stares up at the canopy of leaves. 

The sun is high in the sky when he finally decides to return back to the villa. He should find Rey and apologize. He was probably the one who initiated that kiss, the one who’s to blame for this mess. Yes, apologizing is good.

After showering and changing, he goes to find Rey. She’s in her room, her Force signature distressed. He takes a deep breath before knocking. Because of the age of the villa, the doors are still the old-fashioned wooden kind. 

“Come in.”

He does, finding her curled up on her bed, eyes red and puffy from crying.

“Rey,” he says softly. “I’m...I’m so sorry--”

She shakes her head. “This is my fault. I’m a Jedi--I should have more self-control.” She gives him a sad smile. “You’re not to blame.”

“I am.” He sits on the edge of her bed, far enough away that he hopes it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to encroach on her space. “I know better and I don’t have any excuse. I may not be a Jedi, but I trained the same as you. This isn’t on you.”

“No, it is,” she says miserably. “Ben, I...the things I feel for you...they’re inappropriate for a Jedi. And I don’t just mean physical feelings, I mean...I’m afraid of what I feel.”

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmurs. “I feel it too.”

Rey swallows. “That’s why I’m afraid, though. We both feel this...thing, and it’s not...it can never be. To give in to this feeling would be to turn my back on the Order.”

“I know,” he tells her, and it pains him to say it. “I don’t...I don’t want you to have to do that. I’m sorry that it’s like this.”

She nods tightly. “We can’t exactly avoid each other seeing as I’m supposed to be protecting you, but…”

“Maybe we need more space,” he fills in.

She nods. “Yes.”

Ben gets up. “I’m sorry again for this afternoon--it won’t happen again.”

Rey murmurs something that sounds suspiciously like, “ _ But it will _ .”

Ben decides not to ask her about that.

.

The next few days are spent in solitude. They’re painfully aware of one another’s Force signatures and avoid those places as best they can. It hurts, but Rey knows that she cannot give into this. Luke would be so disappointed in her.

_ Luke doesn’t have to know, _ a sly little voice tells her.  _ It could be a secret. _

But she can’t keep a secret of that magnitude--not from Luke. 

But how can she go on living this way? She’s hopelessly intoxicated by Ben, and now she knows that he feels the same way. Being around one another is going to be impossible for a long time after this.

_ Just give in _ , the same voice tells her.  _ You both want it, and no one’s here to stop you. The only thing getting in the way of your happiness is you. _

She tries to brush this thought aside, but it comes back. If she and Ben were to give in to this thing between them, they wouldn’t have to avoid one another, which would probably be safer seeing as how she’s his bodyguard. No one would have to know. She could bury it away deep inside her, so deep she’d forget it existed, and then she wouldn’t feel so bad about lying to Luke.

Attachments are forbidden. But this doesn’t have to be an attachment. It could be a fleeting affair, and as soon as Lady Sindian is caught and Ben is safe again they can return to their respective lives. She’d never waver in her devotion to the Order. 

It’s this thought that carries her to Ben’s room in the middle of the night, her bare feet padding along the ancient stone. She opens his door without knocking, before she can lose her resolve. 

“Rey?” he asks sleepily, sitting up in bed.

Her back is against the closed door, her heart racing. It’s now or never--she’s only a step away from the point of no return. 

She takes one step forward.

And another, and another, until she’s climbing into his bed.

“Rey,” he says, much more awake now.

“I changed my mind,” she whispers. “We can do this. If it’s what you want.”

His hands find her hips, pulling her closer to him. “It’s what I want. Is it what  _ you _ want?”

She takes a deep breath. “We can’t ignore this, nor can we let it take over our lives. But while we’re hiding out here, while it’s just the two of us…” Her voice breaks. “Ben, I’ve never felt so alone as I have these last few days.”

“You’re not alone,” he tells her firmly. 

She reaches up to touch his face. “Neither are you.”

She kisses him—softly at first, but it doesn’t last. Ben holds her tightly, his massive hands digging into her frame as he pulls her closer. She buries her fingers in his hair, straddling his lap as he kisses the column of her throat. 

“This has to stop when we leave,” she says weakly.

“It will.”

They both know they’re lying. 

Ben shifts her so that she’s lying on her back, kissing his way down her body. He pushes up her shirt, kissing her breasts with a tenderness that leaves her moaning beneath him. He replaces his mouth with his hand, squeezing the soft flesh there and rolling her nipples between his fingers as his kisses trail down her tummy and to the waistband of her sleep pants. He uses his free hand to push the linen down her hips, still kissing her, and then he slides a finger into her underwear. She mewls at the sensation, her fingers gripping the sheets as she squirms. 

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, stroking her folds. “I’ve got you, scavenger.”

The endearment feels sweeter than it ever has before, and Rey fairly melts under it. She lifts herself up to her elbows, watching as he pulls down her underwear and kisses his way up her legs. Then, his eyes on hers, he lowers his mouth to her center.

Rey’s head falls back with a gasp. It feels wonderful. Ben kisses her there as passionately as he kissed her mouth, his lips and tongue creating the most wonderful sensations between her legs. She slowly sinks all the way onto her back, breathing hard as his tongue delves inside her. 

“Ben,” she moans. “Oh... _ oh _ …”

Slowly, he eases a finger inside her, his tongue swirling around the bundle of nerves just above her slit. She’s touched herself before, experimentally pushing her fingers inside her, but it hadn’t felt as good as she imagined it was supposed to. This, though…

Ben crooks his finger inside her and she clamps down on the digit, panting as pressure builds low in her belly. He slides the finger in and out several times before adding another, which only builds that pressure inside her. 

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” he tells her, crooking his fingers rhythmically. “Touching you here. I’m the first, aren’t I?”

She can only nod weakly, her breath hitching.

Ben pushes a third finger inside her. “First, last, and only.”

Rey comes undone, just like that. She clamps down on his fingers, her hips bucking as she cries out. Ben splays one massive hand over her thrashing hips, stilling her. “It’s all right,” he whispers. “It’s all right, you’re all right.”

“Ben,” she pants. “Ben, please, I want...I  _ need _ …”

He moves up her body, kissing her lips and smearing the taste and feel and scent of her all over her mouth. She kisses back hungrily, enjoying the taste of herself.  

Ben sits her up so that he can pull off her shirt, and then he’s pushing down the waistband of his pants. 

“Are you on anything?”

“On anything?” she repeats, confused.

“On a contraceptive,” he says gently.

She flushes and shakes her head. 

“I thought not.”

She feels her heart beat faster. “Are you?”

“Yes.” He kisses her again. “But I won’t come inside you if you don’t want me to.”

She flushes again. “You can do whatever you want.”

Ben groans. “You might regret saying that, scavenger.” In the pale light that filters in through his window, she can see him pulling on his cock. It’s...enormous. Bigger than she imagined. But she isn’t afraid--only excited. When he presses the tip against her wet slit, she moans.

“Rey,” he breathes. “Do you want this? Because if you’re afraid or unsure or--”

“I want this,” she interrupts. “Ben, I really, truly want this.”

He pushes inside her.

It burns. Not in a bad way, necessarily, but she gasps as he fills her. “Oh...oh  _ Ben _ …”

He showers her face with kisses, resting his weight on one arm so that his other hand can rub her. “I’m sorry,” he says over and over. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

The burning ebbs, but not completely, and after a while it’s mingled with a desperate want.

No--a desperate  _ need _ . 

Rey squirms a little, and that’s when Ben starts to move. He pulls back with tantalizing slowness and then pushes back in, sinking deeper than he had before. He repeats this several times until he’s buried all the way inside her, and then they’re both panting. She winds her arms around his neck, little puffs of air escaping her lips as he begins to thrust a little faster. It feels so good, he feels so good--how could this possibly be forbidden? 

When Ben moves a little faster she can feel that pressure building again. She meets his thrusts clumsily, trying to find the right rhythm, and Ben audibly grunts at the contact. He thrusts harder, pressing her body into the mattress as he drives her to her second climax. She cries out again, hands scrabbling at his back as her cunt clenches down--or tries to--on his enormous girth. He thrusts harder and faster, almost to the point of pain, until something hot and wet fills her and then he’s groaning, his breath warm against her ear. Slowly, he pulls out of her, rolling onto his side.

Rey can feel wetness trickling out of her center. His? Or hers? Both of theirs, maybe. That thought excites her. 

“It’s better than that, normally,” Ben says sheepishly. “I was excited and you were so...you were so tight.”

She rolls onto her side, smiling. “It was perfect.” She kisses him hungrily. “But if you wanted to try it again, I’d be willing.”

He huffs out a laugh.

Rey can’t remember ever being happier.

  
  



	8. Movement VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Aionimica made this [BEAUTIFUL art](https://kylorenaissance.tumblr.com/post/181778489057/aionimica-a-birthday-gift-to-kylorenaissance) for my birthday--please go check it out!

Ben can’t remember ever being happier.

Rey spends all night in his bed. They kiss and touch and fuck, and when they’re not doing any of those things, they talk. 

“I think I’ve had feelings for you for a long time,” she confesses near morning. “Since we were training together. I thought they might have gone away after you left, but...well.”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you came back into my life,” he admits. “You grew up when I wasn’t looking.”

“So did you.”

They sleep well into the morning, and when he wakes up before her he slides down between her legs and kisses her there until she wakes up too. He only feels a little bad about rousing her from her sleep--her smile is enough to reassure him that she wants to be awake just as much as he wants her to be.

Around noon, he pads down to the kitchen and throws some food in a bowl before carrying it back upstairs. Rey eats greedily, and when she’s done she climbs on top of his lap and rides him silly. She’s a fast learner, his Rey. 

In the afternoon, they take the picnic they hadn’t gotten to a few days before. They spar for a bit, but neither of them really has their heart in it, and before long they’re rolling around on the picnic blanket. Ben plucks bread and cheese and fruit from a plate, pressing it in Rey’s mouth, and then she takes jelly and cream and smears it on her neck and breasts and thighs so that he has to lick it off. Afterwards they nap in each other’s arms, skin warmed by the sun.

Several days pass like this, just Ben and Rey and this wonderful thing between them. It’s just the two of them here, for even the caretaker’s visits are short and sparse. No one has to know what they get up to here. It makes them feel giddy and silly, which is perhaps why Ben convinces Rey to try on some of his grandmother’s dresses from when she lived here. 

They’re all gorgeous, but nothing like Rey would ever wear. They range from loose and flowing to tight and revealing. Some of them are elaborate, regal gowns, and others can’t seem to stop showing off Rey’s back or midriff. They giggle over most of the outfits, especially one black leather corset that Ben admits gives him naughty thoughts, but some of them genuinely take his breath away. There’s one in particular, a yellow and pink confection that leaves Rey’s entire back exposed, that sends his blood rushing to his cock. Before he quite knows what he’s doing, he’s lifting Rey off her feet and carrying her to the windowsill. She wraps her legs around his waist, giggling as he scrambles to push aside their respective clothes. Her giggle turns into a moan when he enters her, thrusting desperately until he finds a rhythm.

“This is your grandmother’s dress,” she says with wide eyes, but Ben notices that she makes no move to part with it.

“It is,” he agrees. “And it looks amazing on you.” 

Rey wears it for the rest of the day. 

.

They’re nestled up on the island the next day, kissing slowly (they’d thought about making love out here, but decided against it--sand gets everywhere) when Rey admits, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back to normal after this.” 

Ben shifts to look at her better. “I don’t know if we can, sweetheart.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She heaves a sigh. “Even if we just leave it here, like this, even if we never speak of it again…”

“We won’t be able to forget it,” he finishes. “I know. I’ve...been thinking about that too.” 

“We can never do this again,” she tells him, but she doesn’t sound sure of herself. 

“I know,” he says. 

He knows. She knows. But it doesn’t mean they’re not going to do it again. 

.

Ben’s standing on a bridge. There are no railings on this bridge, but it stands over a wide, gaping chasm. Han is standing in front of him, saying something Ben cannot understand. There’s something in Ben’s hand, and when he looks down, he’s holding his lightsaber. Han is holding it too, and some force turns it over in Ben’s hands so that it’s aimed at Han. The same force makes Ben’s thumb press down on the activator, and the crackling red blade ( _ why does it look like that why is it red why is it hissing so angrily _ ) pushes through Han. Someone somewhere is screaming, and for some reason, Ben can only say, “Thank you.”

Han touches his face and then falls down the chasm, and Ben is left standing alone and afraid.

He wakes with a violent start, sitting up in bed. He’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his heart pounding. 

“Ben?” Rey murmurs, stirring. 

“Just a dream,” he says quickly, but he feels, somehow, that it was more than just a dream. More than just a normal dream, anyway.

Rey reaches for him, but he gets up. “I think I’ll take a walk.”

“Ben?” 

“I’m okay,” he lies, leaning over and kissing her. “Just too awake to go back to sleep right now.” It isn’t untrue, and after a moment, Rey settles back against the pillows. 

Ben pulls on pants and takes a brisk walk down the stairs and out to the terrace, careful to control his Force signature so that Rey won’t pick up on his distress. 

Ben hasn’t had a dream like that in years. Not since he was a boy. Not since he was sent to live with Luke. Luke, who had nearly given up on him, who’d had to take him to a student of the dark side: Snoke. The other man had been the only one to see the darkness in Ben and not flinch from it--if anything, he spoke reverently of it. And he’d taught Ben how to stave off the dreams, giving him the first peaceful nights he’d ever had. The dreams hadn’t bothered him since then.

And now, it seems, they’re back.

Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe it was just a slip-up. He hasn’t been meditating lately, being preoccupied with Rey. He’ll have to start doing it again.

He makes several laps around the terrace before his heart slows some and his breath comes a little easier and the nighttime air cools the sweat on his skin. Then, he walks back up the stairs and crawls into bed beside Rey. She curls into him at once, humming in her sleep as his arms circle her. 

“Okay?” she mumbles.

“Okay,” he says, kissing her head. “I’m okay.”

.

Ben is not okay. 

He keeps telling Rey he is, but she knows he’s just saying it to calm her. His dreams wake him up every night, and she knows they’re more than just nightmares. Like the dreams he had as a boy, the ones that kept him from sleeping for nights on end. 

“Maybe we should tell Luke,” she suggests when he wakes her with screaming for the third night in a row. 

“ _ No _ ,” he says definitively. “I don’t need my uncle poking around in my head.”

“Ben, you need help.”

“Not from him.” When she opens her mouth to argue, he shakes his head. “Rey, if Luke looks into my head, he’ll know what we’ve been doing. Do you really want him to see that?”

She bites her lip. No, she doesn’t, but neither does she want Ben to keep suffering like this. “If it means the dreams will stop,” she says. “Then...maybe I don’t care if Luke finds out.”

Ben blinks at her. “Really?”

She shakes her head. “You’re in so much pain because of these nightmares, it...it doesn’t matter if Luke finds out what we’ve been doing, I just want you to stop hurting.”

He kisses her tenderly. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Rey.”

She flushes. “I’m not.”

“You are, and I don’t think I deserve you.” 

She reaches up to stroke his cheek. “What can I do? Tell me how I can help you.”

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. 

It’s hard to access files without giving away her location, but when Rey is able to get in touch with Luke, she asks him to send her some reading about Force-sensitive dreams.

“Are you having nightmares?” Luke asks in some surprise.

And Rey, who has never lied to him before in her life, nods. “Yes, Master.” She doesn’t elaborate.

Thankfully, Luke doesn’t ask her to. “I’ll find what I can and send it your way.”

“Thank you, Master.”

As soon as she ends the comm, Ben wraps his arms around her. “I know that was hard,” he murmurs. “And I can’t thank you enough.” 

It’s left her feeling ashamed, and she sinks gratefully into Ben’s embrace. “I’ve never lied to him before. It feels...wrong. Even if I know it’s for the right reasons.” It makes her wonder if she’ll be able to lie about her relationship with Ben, or if she’ll end up spilling the truth to Luke. 

Not that it matters now. Now, all that matters is ending Ben’s nightmares. 

.

Luke does send over reading material, and Ben and Rey spend two days poring over all of it. They’re both determined to leave no stone unturned, no piece of lore unread. 

What they do find isn’t very helpful. There have been recorded instances of Force users having prophetic dreams, and there have been instances of Force users communicating through dreams, but nothing about repeated nightmares.

“Maybe they’re prophetic, and they’re just manifesting as nightmares?” Rey suggests, frowning at yet another doc. 

Ben thinks of all his dreams--pushing a lightsaber through his father, battling Rey in snowy woods, decimating an entire village of innocents. He fervently hopes that she’s wrong. 

“What happens in these dreams?” she prods. He hasn’t really told her, and she seems to have sensed that he doesn’t want to talk about it. 

Ben shakes his head. “Sometimes horrible things happen. I’m always the one doing them. But other times…” He takes a deep breath. “They’re just...I just feel this  _ dread _ . This cold darkness I can’t escape. It’s that feeling more than the things I see or do in my dreams.” 

Rey gives him a sympathetic look. “Ben, I...I really think we should tell Luke.” 

“ _ No _ .”

“We have to go to  _ someone _ ,” she says. “Someone with knowledge of the Force. The Dark Side, I’d wager.”

A chill creeps down Ben’s spine. There’s only one person he knows of who has an extensive knowledge of the Dark Side, someone he’d gone to as a last resort. 

Snoke.

“I know of someone,” he croaks. “But you won’t like it.” 

Rey looks curious. “Who?” 

He takes a deep breath. “Snoke.”

Rey immediately stiffens. “Snoke has too much knowledge of the Dark Side--”

“ _ Exactly _ ,” Ben says. “He helped me get rid of the dreams last time--maybe he can do it again.”

Rey chews her lip. “I don’t know, Ben...things are bad enough right now, and to invite someone like that into your head…”

“Better him than Luke.”

Rey clearly disagrees, but she also clearly wants to help Ben. “Okay. But at the first sign of anything...anything  _ bad _ , we’re out of there, you understand?”

“Yes,” he says, trying not to smile.

“And since I’m still technically protecting you, you do as I say.”

“Yes, Master,” he says in a light, mocking tone.

“I’m  _ serious _ , Ben.” She looks upset. “Luke is going to be furious when he finds out, and I need to keep you alive and safe if I want to stay in the Order.”

For a wild, terrible moment, Ben is tempted to say,  _ I don’t want you to be in the Order _ . But that’s selfishness talking. Rey wants to be in the Order, and that’s all that should matter.

“All right,” he allows. “I’ll do as you say.”

She relaxes marginally. “Thank you.”

Ben feels a little guilty for worrying her so, and he decides to make it up to her. He slides down to the floor, tugging at her pants. “I’ll let you have your way when we go to find Snoke,” he says. “But until then, I get my way.”

Rey sucks in a breath. “Ben…”

He scoots her hips to the edge of the couch, eyes on hers as he licks a stripe up her folds. She breathes hard, eyes darkening as she looks at him. 

“Ben…”

“That’s right,” he murmurs, sliding a finger inside her. “I want you to say my name. I want you to say it when I make you come.”

Rey groans, hooking her legs over his shoulder as he buries his face in her center. Her fingers find his hair, tugging until he’s so close that he’s in danger of not being able to breathe. Not that he’d mind—he can think of worse deaths than being crushed between Rey’s supple thighs while she chants his name.

He gets her off on his fingers, smirking against her clit when she cries out his name, and then he’s on the couch, shedding his clothes as she yanks him eagerly on top of her. He’s only just pushed inside her, hips rocking hungrily into hers, when she bursts into tears.

“Rey?” he asks, alarmed. He tries to pull out but she stops him, wrapping her limbs tightly around him and burying her face in his neck. “Sweetheart,” he tries again. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she tells him, but he knows it can’t be nothing. “Please just...just don’t stop.”

“Rey--”

“ _ Fuck me _ ,” she growls. 

He does, hips moving hard and fast the way she urges them to. She’s still crying, but she won’t let him stop, keeps groaning and sighing as if she enjoys it. It confuses him, but he doesn’t stop, not until he can feel her shuddering around him, and only then does he let himself spill inside her.

When he pulls out she turns away, reaching for her clothes.

“Rey,” he pants. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” She steps awkwardly into her pants. “I think I’ll go for a swim. Clear my head.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No,” she says a bit too suddenly. What he can see of her face is red. “No, I...I’d like to be alone.”

He feels that like a punch to the gut. Something has gone very, very wrong, and he doesn’t know what it is or how to fix it. He tries to follow Rey, but she moves too quickly, practically running for the door. 

Ben replays their conversation in his head, trying to find the moment when things shifted. She’d been fine when he first started eating her out--it hadn’t been until he’d put his cock in her that she’d started crying. But she hadn’t wanted him to stop. 

What had happened before that? She’d told him to do as she said. And she’d been worried, which is why he’d ended up on his knees. But that doesn’t seem like enough reason for her to start crying and then flee as soon as he finished. 

He thinks of following her outside and making her tell him what’s wrong, but she’d asked to be alone, and she seems upset enough that he thinks pushing her will just make things worse. He feels terribly helpless.

Surely, he thinks, surely she has to understand why this is important to him. These dreams  _ mean _ something. He knows they do. And they’re probably the result of the Dark Side. Snoke is his only hope of getting answers. 

Ben will tell Luke later, of course. He will do whatever he can to ensure Rey suffers as few consequences as possible. She’s been the voice of reason through all of this, the one fighting it until she couldn’t anymore. As happy as he’d been at her surrender, he knows Luke will be considerably less so. 

Is that the source of her unhappiness? Knowing she’s let down Luke? Ben can’t quite bring himself to care that Luke will be let down, but he does feel a pang for Rey. He thinks she’d be happier if she put herself before the Order more often. The two of them being alone in this place has brought out the best in her--she smiles and laughs constantly, and her Force signature is so  _ calm _ . Or it had been, up until the nightmares started.

He goes to the window, watching Rey swim out to the island.  _ I’m sorry, _ he thinks.  _ I’m sorry for dragging you into this. _

.

Rey sits on the shore of the island and stares out at the lake. It looks so vast from out here. Vast, but peaceful. Calming, in a way. As if nothing can get to her out here.

Which isn’t true, of course. Anything could get to her. Even Ben.

She heaves a deep, painful breath. 

Ben.

She knew this would be difficult. She knew it would test her. She knew she shouldn’t give in.

But she did give in, and it tested her, and it’s more difficult than she could’ve possibly imagined.

She loves Ben. She thinks she’s always loved him, but she didn’t realize that she was  _ in _ love with him until just now. She knows she’ll have to explain herself later, have to find a reason she was acting so oddly. Because telling him the truth...is not an option. She can’t tell him that she loves him because as soon as she does, she’s lost. As soon as she tells him she loves him, she’s admitting out loud that something has come above her devotion to the Order. And that means...she isn’t a true Jedi.

The thought wrings a sob from her. This was always her path. Agreeing to train at the Jedi temple is what got her off of Jakku. It was her choice, and the choice that set her free.

But some small, niggling part of her wonders how much of a choice it was. 

She’d only been a child. All of Luke’s other students came as teenagers and adults, having lived a life before the temple. If they didn’t like the Jedi way, if they wanted to use their powers for something else, they were welcome to leave. But Rey...Rey doesn’t have that option. Not really, anyway. She never went to a formal school or joined a legislative youth program or took up an apprenticeship in a trade. She’s always trained to be a Jedi, and living any other kind of life was never an option.

Not that she  _ wants _ to live any other kind of life, but it’s different knowing that she  _ can’t _ , even if she did want to. 

_ What am I going to tell Ben? _

She can’t tell him she loves him. But maybe telling him she cares deeply won’t be that much of a stretch.

Sighing, she slips back into the water, heading for the villa. 

.

Ben is pacing up and down the terrace when she finally swims back. He stops in his tracks, watching her pull herself from the water. He isn’t sure if he should go to her or not, but she makes a beeline for him and wraps her arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes. She’s soaking him but he doesn’t care. “I’m sorry, I just...I don’t know if I can explain it.”

“You don’t have to,” he tells her. “Not if you don’t want to.”

She looks up at him with red eyes and a sad smile. “Get in the ‘fresher with me?”

He does, holding her close as they stand under the hot spray. She feels tired, and after they’ve dried off, he wraps her in a towel and carries her to bed. He even climbs in beside her, even though he’s afraid to sleep these days. 

Her breath has become slow and steady and he thinks she’s asleep when she murmurs, “I got in over my head with you.”

And then her soft little snores fill the room and he knows she’s asleep. 

  
  



	9. Movement IX

Rey doesn’t explain her outburst and Ben, thankfully, doesn’t ask. Even more thankfully, they don’t have time to talk about it, because as soon as the caretaker makes his next visit, they head back for the mainland. 

“If my family should ask,” Ben says, “please tell them that my bodyguard moved me to a more secure location.”

In Theed, they purchase a small craft that will take them off-planet. 

“You know where to go?” Rey asks.

“No, but I know someone who might.” Rey looks at the nav chart, where Ben is setting a course for Takodana.

“Maz,” Rey realizes.

He grins. “Good ol’ Maz.” 

Takodana is just as she remembers it--lush and green, except for Maz’s castle, which is as loud and colorful as ever. They’ve barely stepped through the door when the old woman’s voice shouts, “BEEEEENNNNN SOLOOOOOO.”

All activity inside the castle stops as everyone turns to regard the newcomers. 

Ben can only manage a sheepish wave and grin. “Hi, Maz.”

The old woman approaches them, opening her arms for them to bend down and hug her. “You’re a long way from home, kids, which means you’re in a heap of trouble. Sit down and tell me all about it.”

They do, tucking into a heaping platter of greens and tankards of juice while Ben explains the nightmares he’s been having and why he has to find Snoke. Maz’s face slides into a frown that grows deeper and deeper as he speaks. 

“Snoke is bad news,” she says. 

“So are these nightmares,” he tells her. “Maz, please...something is happening and I need to know what.”

Maz looks reluctant. “I don’t know if going deeper into the Dark Side is the way to get yourself out of its grasp, Ben.”

He shifts in his seat. “Then what is? Going to the light? Luke doesn’t have any answers, and neither do any of the texts he sent.”

Maz still seems reluctant, but she nods. “Last I heard, he’s on Rakata Prime with the First Order.”

“Rakata Prime?” It’s in the Unknown Regions, but close enough to the Colonies that navigating the territory won’t be too bad. At least, Rey hopes not. “He’s with the First Order?”

“Be careful,” Maz says uneasily. “You may find more than you bargained for.”

“Don’t worry,” Rey says with a candor she doesn’t quite feel. “I won’t let anything happen to His Princeliness.”

“Watch it, scavenger,” he says, but there’s a warmth to his voice and to his eyes that tell Rey he doesn’t mind the endearment. 

Maz gestures between the two. “And how long has this been going on, hmm?”

“Has what?” Rey asks, leaning away from Ben. 

“Oho, don’t try to play coy with me!” crows Maz. “I know young love when I see it.”

Rey flushes. 

“We’re not in love,” Ben says, and Rey’s flush deepens.

Oh.

Well.

All right.

Maz raises her eyebrows--or at least, Rey thinks she does. “I don’t tolerate lying in this establishment, Solo.”

But Rey knows Maz is just saying that to be nice. Ben doesn’t love her. Why should he? She’s the one who said they couldn’t continue this, after all. And now that they’re off of Naboo, does that mean things are going to go back to the way they were before? 

“Excuse me,” she mumbles, getting up and stumbling out of the castle. She feels stupid. 

Ben is the first person she’s ever loved like that. The first, and what she hopes is the last. She can’t imagine feeling this feeling with anyone else. And she shouldn’t, because it’s forbidden. Jedi are not supposed to fall in love like this. 

Rey wanders into the woods, breathing hard. She has to end this. Somehow. She can’t keep—

“Rey!”

She turns, seeing Ben tearing after her. She stops in her tracks, flushed and embarrassed. 

Ben’s own face is flushed, which she attributes to his run over here. “You love me?” he demands.

Rey doesn’t know how to respond. She can’t lie to him, but if she tells him the truth…

“Rey.” He shifts in front of her. “Do. You. Love. Me.”

“Yes,” she croaks.

Ben kisses her. Not just any kiss, either, but a searing kiss, one that takes her breath away and leaves her a little weak in the knees.

“I love you,” he tells her when he finally, finally lets her go. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to make this harder than it already is, but...Rey, I love you.”

“You do?” she asks, dizzy.

“Yes.” He strokes her cheek. “And you...you love me.”

She nods wordlessly.

He kisses her again. 

_ He loves me _ , she thinks.  _ I love him and he loves me and this is so, so wrong. _

.

They spend the night at Maz’s castle and set out for Rakata Prime in the morning. 

“Take care of each other,” Maz calls as they board the ship. “And may the Force be with you.”

Ben raises a hand in farewell.

No sooner have they made the jump to hyperspace than Ben is on Rey, pulling her back to one of the small bunks. She goes willingly, grinning and giggling as he strips off just enough clothes to push inside her. 

_ I love her and she loves me _ , he thinks, over and over. 

He wonders what will happen after they’ve gotten answers--if they do at all. Will she go back to the Order and lie to Luke? Will she tell Luke the truth and be cast out? Will she choose a life with him or want to make her own way in the galaxy? There are so many possibilities, and he’s worried she’ll choose one that doesn’t include him. He wants her to do whatever makes her happy, whatever feels right to her, and he’d never forgive himself if he caused her any unhappiness, but the thought of her rejoining the Jedi makes him a bit sick. It means a lifetime of hiding, of trying to deny what feels good and right and pure, all for his uncle’s teachings. 

They’ve just entered the Unknown Regions when the ship’s radar picks up a planet. They strap themselves in, preparing for landing, but Rey frowns at the nav-charts. “We’re nowhere near Rakata Prime.”

“Are you sure?” Ben frowns. “There aren’t any other systems between the border and Rakata Prime.”

“I’m sure, look.” 

He does, and he sees it too--a planet-sized mass, but it’s much too far from Rakata Prime’s location. “What the--”

But before he can finish that thought, the ship’s lights dim and the hum of steady travel putters out.

“What’s happening?” Rey asks, looking around frantically.

“Tractor beam.” Ben leans forward in the cockpit, trying to see what’s pulling them in. “It looks like...the planet…”

But the planet, he can see now, is not a planet. Or it is, but it’s more than just a heavenly body. A belt runs around the planet’s middle, and fixed in the center of this belt is what looks like a red, lidless eye. No, not an eye, Ben thinks...a  _ blaster _ .

The Rakatans, he knows from history lessons, once built a super weapon called the Star Forge. They had used it to enslave beings from neighboring planets, and over time, the cruelty inflicted by the Forge had made it a tool of the Dark Side. That had been thousands of years ago, but is it possible the Rakatans have, after lying dormant for so long, decided to rebuild their empire? Or is the nearness of Rakata Prime merely a coincidence, and this is another Death Star, built by former members of the Empire who want to see the Galactic Republic destroyed?

The real question is, how did such a creation go unnoticed for so long? Surely something of this scale would take years to build. The Death Star certainly had--nearly twenty years, to be precise. How had twenty years gone by and no one had known? Even out here in the Unknown Regions, surely some rumor or report would have reached the Core?

But then again, perhaps not. It’s common knowledge that Imperialists fled to the Unknown Regions and have lived, more or less, in peace since then. Everyone assumed they were just licking their wounds, but perhaps...perhaps they’d had a plan all along.

He doesn’t have much more time to ponder because the tractor beam pulls them into an enormous hangar. 

“Just remain calm,” he tells her. “They might cuff us--it’ll be easier if we go along.”

“I know what to do,” she tells him, bemused.

Ben leans over to kiss her. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re afraid,” she notes, eyes wide.

“I am,” he admits. “I don’t know what we’re up against.”

Stormtroopers-- _ Stormtroopers! _ \--come out to meet them. Two knock on the hatch, which Ben opens obligingly.

“Out of the cockpit,” one tells him in a voice that’s clearly coming through some kind of filter.

They obey the troopers, holding out their hands for cuffing.

“Is there a problem?” Ben asks smoothly. 

No one answers him. He hadn’t really expected them to.

An officer approaches them with a wary eye. “The Supreme Leader wants to see them in the throne room.”

_ The Supreme Leader _ and  _ throne room _ are two things that immediately stand out to Ben. Perhaps it is the Rakatans. Or some other group that wants to break off from the Republic.

But what sort of group could afford to build such a thing?

Stormtroopers lead Ben and Rey through a labyrinthine set of lifts and corridors before they finally, finally, walk through a door and into a blood-red room. At the far end sits a figure on a black throne and wearing a dark gray robe.

Snoke.

Ben would know the other being’s presence anywhere. It’s a dark, cloying presence, one that both terrified and enthralled him last time he met the other man. It still holds that sway over him now, making him feel much younger than his twenty-nine years. 

“Ben Organa, Senator of Chandrila!” Snoke calls in that half-croak, getting to his feet. He waves a hand and both sets of handcuffs fall to the floor. “I apologize for the formality, my boy, but my men can’t take any chances.” He moves towards them slowly. 

“What is this?” Ben asks. “Where  _ are _ we?”

“A secret, I’m afraid,” Snoke says with an apologetic smile. “And who is your companion?”

Ben and Rey share a look.

“This is Rey,” Ben says, not offering elaboration.

“Rey? You must be one of Skywalker’s students.” At the look on her face, Snoke chuckles, “I know the ways of the Force, young Rey. Will you both take refreshment with me?”

And before either Ben or Rey can react, droids wheel out a table complete with tablecloth, platters of food, and a silver tea set. More droids wheel out chairs.

“Please, sit,” Snoke urges. 

And because they have little choice, they do. 

As the droids serve tea, biscuits, and cake, Snoke says, “Now what brings you all the way out here, my dear boy?”

“I was looking for you,” Ben says. 

“Me?”

“Yes.” Ben hesitates. Under the table, Rey squeezes his knee. “I’ve been having nightmares again.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yes.” Ben explains the dreams to Snoke, who listens attentively. 

“I see. And these started recently?”

“Yes.”

Snoke leans back in his chair. “It’s clear that whoever or whatever caused your childhood dreams is back at it…though why remains to be seen.”

“Do you think...do you think this is related to whoever tried to have me killed?” Ben asks. 

“No,” Snoke says bluntly. “Because it was Lady Carise Sindian who tried to have you killed, and she’s dead.”

Ben and Rey exchange a look.

“She’s...dead?”

“Yes,” Snoke says calmly. “I saw to it myself.”

“ _ You _ did?” Rey asks in horror. “But...she was working with someone!”

“Was she?” Snoke says in a mild tone. “I didn’t realize.”

“You just...killed her?” Rey asks. “Why?”

“She’d tried to kill Ben. I thought it my civic duty.” Snoke offers them both an unsettling smile.

Rey’s hand squeezes Ben’s knee again. He can feel her distress. She can probably feel his, too.

“You knew who she was working with,” Ben croaks.

Snoke only shrugs. 

“You knew because she was working with you this whole time.”

Before either of them can move, Snoke lifts a hand, immobilizing them both.

“Lady Carise was as clumsy as she was vain,” Snoke says. “I told her I wanted you, and what did the foolish woman do? Try to have you killed.”

“Why?” Ben manages to grit out. “Why...me?”

“ _ You _ ?” Snoke repeats with some incredulity. “The heir of Darth Vader himself? Of course  _ you _ . My empire would hardly be complete without a Dark Lord.”

It all comes clicking into place now--the dreams Ben has been having, Snoke magically making the dreams go away when he was younger, Lady Carise’s botched assassination attempts, the restless terror he felt as a child. Luke had once quietly said that there was a darkness in him, and all this time, it was Snoke, lurking just below the surface. 

And now they’re trapped here, literally, physically unable to move. 

“I understand the idea will take getting used to,” Snoke goes on. “Especially when you’ve given up the Jedi way. But my dear boy, that’s why you will be so useful. You chose a political career over being a Jedi, but you are still strong with the Force. Someday, you will follow in my footsteps and become the Supreme Leader of the First Order.”

“ _ No _ .” Rey wrenches herself out of immobility, stumbling on the black polished floor. “Ben will never join you.”

Snoke throws back his head and laughs again. “Such  _ spunk _ ! You are optimistic, my dear. But you see, Ben has little choice in the matter.” Snoke waves his other hand and the red walls lift up into the ceiling, revealing the space around them. Though, not just any space--Rey realizes that they’re in range of three planets. 

“In the time of the Empire, Palpatine had two Death Stars. They were the size of small moons, and they could destroy an entire planet. Today, we have the Starkiller Base, and it can destroy entire star systems. When the Starkiller is fully operational, no one will dare stand against the First Order.”

Ben can only look at the Rakata system in horror. He knows what’s about to happen. 

“It’s quite interesting--it harnesses the power of a sun. Now, we’ve already run a few tests, but none on so heavily populated a system as Rakata. Do watch, won’t you?”

But Ben has no choice--he has to watch as the planet-sized weapon shoots three blasts into the system. Each one strikes Rakata’s three planets, incinerating them as soon as they make impact. Ben feels the life of each and every living thing on Rakata extinguish. It knocks the breath from his lungs, sends him reeling. 

“So you see, young Rey,” Snoke says as smoothly as if there has been no interruption at all. “Ben must and will join me, because if he does not, I will destroy every star system that means anything to him.”

_ “No.” _

“Take them away,” Snoke orders his red guards, who have, until now, stood silent and still. Four of them come forward and take them by the arms, marching Ben and Rey out of the throne room and down another labyrinthine series of lifts and corridors. They end up in a cell block--Rey in one cell, Ben in another. He thrashes against his captors and tries to get to her, shouting her name, but the guards are too strong for them. They throw Ben into a cell, the door clanging shut behind him. 

_ What have I done? _

  
  



	10. Movement X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, this is a short chapter--I hope you'll forgive me, especially after the way it ends.

There’s nothing to do in her cell.

She knows--she’s tried everything. Meditating, exercising, sleeping. None of it helps the time pass.

It sometimes occurs to Rey that more time is passing than the guards let on and they’re just slowly torturing her to death. She’ll swear it’s been two hours but the guards assure her it’s been fifteen minutes. 

The cell is small, too, which limits her mobility. It’s three steps down, and then there’s nothing but a bed (though really it’s more like a bench) along the wall and a sink and toilet shoved in the corner. There isn’t even a shower.

Not that Rey minds. Showers were luxuries on Jakku, and though it’s been a while since she lived on the junkyard planet, she can remember all too well the feeling of not needing a shower until you were absolutely, positively filthy. 

After breakfast every morning, she exercises. She wants to remain fit should the need arise, and though she has no lightsaber, she mimics the motions anyway. She does this until lunch, or until she’s tired, and in the afternoon she naps. Then it’s meditation, dinner, more meditating, and sleep until breakfast.

It gets very old very quickly. 

Sometimes she asks the guards about Ben. They never give her an answer. She can feel him through the Force, still alive, still mostly well, but nothing beyond that. It scares her. She’s sure Snoke is trying to move him to the Dark Side with or without Ben’s cooperation, and without could be painful. But with…

She shakes her head. Ben would never willingly turn to the Dark Side. Whatever his feelings about Luke and the Jedi Order, he has no love for the Dark Side. 

If only they’d told Luke the truth. He could have stopped it. At the very least, he could have helped. It would be worth getting expelled from the Jedi Order, if only Ben could be safe and she could be with him and Snoke could be nothing more than just a distant figure shrouded in mystery.

A sob bubbles up in Rey’s throat. She misses Ben. And she’s worried for him. Whatever is happening to him now can’t be good. Snoke could be hurting him.

She had  _ one job _ . She just had to keep Ben safe. And what has she done? Broken her sacred vows and let Ben get captured by the enemy.

She’s sitting on her miserable excuse for a bed and trying not to cry anymore than she has to when the door opens. At first, she assumes she’s wildly miscalculated the passage of time again, but then she sees Ben standing there.

Except, he’s not quite Ben, somehow. He is, but he isn’t. He’s wearing a black tunic, black pants, black boots, black gloves, and a black cape, and when she reaches out for his Force signature, he shuts her out. 

“Ben?” she asks softly.

“Come with me,” he says in low, urgent voice.

She does, scrambling off the bed. He leads her down the corridor; when she looks around, she doesn’t see any of the guards.

“Ben, what’s going on?”

He doesn’t answer, and that worries her a little. Still, she follows him down still more corridors, up and down several lifts, and finally to the hangar where they’d originally come in. It’s dead quiet--no one is here. Rey finds that odd--usually, hangars are full of activity. In fact, they haven’t really run into anyone on their way here. What’s going on?

“I’ve already plugged in the coordinates,” Ben says, and she sees now that he’s leading her to the ship they’d taken here. “All you have to do is make the jump to hyperspace.”

“All  _ I _ have to do?” She blinks at him. “Ben, aren’t you coming?”

He shakes his head. “I can’t, Rey.”

“Ben.” She stops in her tracks. “What’s going on?”

“We don’t have time.” He takes her hand and pulls her the rest of the way to the ship. “I need you to get on and get out of here.”

“No.” She jerks free, folding her arms over her chest. “Not until you tell me what’s happening.”

“I’m trying to get you out of here,” he says pleadingly. “Snoke will only use you to get to me.”

She frowns. “What about you? Won’t he try to hurt you?”

Ben has a grim look on his face when he says, “There isn’t much more he can do to me.”

“Ben…”

“Rey.” He takes a deep breath. “Please do this. I can’t go. He’s...he’s in my head. If I leave now, he’ll chase us down and hurt you until I give in again. He already knows you’re out of your cell, and it will be a matter of minutes before Stormtroopers come to stop you. I need you to get out right now and not look back.” 

That gives her some pause. “Ben, please…”

“I love you,” he says, and that breaks her resolve, just a little. “But I need you to do this or there won’t be a you left.”

Her eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to die.” He kisses her, the first kiss she’s had from him in weeks. “Please do this for me. I can’t bear to think of what he’ll do if you don’t get out of here.”

She bites her lip. She can’t leave him. She  _ can’t _ .

And yet…

“I’ll come back for you,” she promises hoarsely. “When the time is right.”

His smile is sad. “I know.”

She takes a deep breath and walks up the ramp, legs like jelly. She can see Stormtroopers at the far end of the hangar; as soon as she flips the controls, they start shooting. Not at Ben, she’s relieved to see--only at her. She maneuvers the ship out of the hangar, and before they can catch up to her, she makes the jump to hyperspace.

She doesn’t stop crying until long after she’s reached Hosnian Prime.

  
  



	11. Movement XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't looked at the tags yet, I STRONGLY advise you do as one of them is mentioned in this chapter.

Rey’s alarm goes off at 0600, as it does every morning. Once, she didn’t need an alarm for getting up. Now, she sleeps until noon if no one or nothing stops her. 

She hasn’t slept well the past three months. Partly because of the base. Mostly because of Ben.

It’s been three months since Rey left Ben on Starkiller Base. Three months since he sent her away. Three months since she’d promised to come back for him. Not for the first time in those three months, Rey wonders when she’s supposed to come back for Ben.

She sits up slowly, sighing as her body cries out in protest. The thought of sinking back into her bed is a tempting one, but she’d made a promise to Luke to stop hiding in her bed. He’d made her make that promise after the first few weeks when she’d felt so, so guilty and hadn’t been able to face Leia and Han. Even Luke was hard to face, but he’d hugged her and told her, “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

No one had ever said that to her before.

She stumbles to the refresher, stripping off her tank top and briefs and sighing in relief when the hot water hits her skin. She leans against the tile wall until she starts to feel more awake; after she’s been properly washed and dried, she changes into fresh clothes and makes her way to the mess hall.

The Resistance base on D’Qar is still being developed; the halls smell of construction and fresh paint, a smell that Rey normally doesn’t mind. Right at this moment, however, it makes her queasy, and she hastens to get to the hall and get food in her belly.

Luke is already sitting at the table, serenely picking at his oatmeal. He offers Rey a small smile when she takes the seat next to him. 

“Good morning.”

“Hmm,” she grunts, hunching over her own oatmeal.  

“Think you’ll be up to sparring later?”

She considers. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She hasn’t sparred much the last few weeks. Maybe the exercise would be good for her.

Luke is quiet for a moment before pressing, “Have you been meditating?”

“Yes.” She’s been doing a lot of that. Or trying to. It isn’t always easy to concentrate. 

Luke sighs, resting his spoon against the rim of his bowl. “I’m sorry to pry, but I’m worried about you, Rey.”

She looks up at him. “Me?”

“You.” He hesitates. “You haven’t been the same since you came back from Starkiller Base.” He rests a hand on her shoulder. “It’s been three months, Rey.”

She squirms uncomfortably. “I’m all right.” 

“You’re not,” he says in a firm tone. “And it’s all right that you’re not all right, but I think you’d feel better once you admitted it out loud.”

Rey takes a deep breath. “I’m not as good as I could be, okay? But I’m fine, really. As fine as one can be under the circumstances.”

Luke squeezes her shoulder before letting go. “I know you and Ben were close, but you can’t beat yourself up forever.”

Rey hopes he doesn’t see her wince. Luke still doesn’t know the whole truth about her and Ben. No one does. She’d thought about telling them, thought it might soften the blow, but some part of her fears that it will only make them resent her more. 

Han and Leia will never say it, but Rey knows they wish it had been Ben who’d come back instead of her. As much as they like her, she’s not their son. She’s not Ben. 

She can’t blame them—she also wishes he’d been the one to come back. 

Luke, at least, seems relieved to have her back. He only left her side to evacuate the Jedi temple, either bringing his students to the fledgling Resistance base or sending them home to their families, before returning. Since then, he hasn’t left her side. 

.

She does end up sparring with Luke after breakfast, and it does make her feel marginally better. She’s still tired and sore, but that’s to be expected. 

They’re cooling down when a lieutenant pokes their head into the room. “The Hosnian system,” they say, panting a little. “It’s gone.” 

“It’s  _ gone _ ?” Luke repeats, sharing a look with Rey. “What do you mean?”

“The First Order...they destroyed it. All of it.” 

“Starkiller,” Rey whispers. She feels suddenly sick. 

“Snoke targeted the Hosnian system because that’s where all the galaxy’s diplomats are located,” Luke realizes. “Now, he has no formal opposition in the Senate...anyone who stands against him won’t be a serious threat.”

Rey lurches to the side, heaving up the contents of her stomach. Luke rubs her back, murmuring softly as she retches. When she finishes, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. The lieutenant has disappeared--it’s just her and Luke again. 

“All those people,” she croaks. “Dead. All so Snoke could…” She doesn’t finish, having turned her head to retch again. 

“He knew no one in their right mind would elect him as a leader,” Luke says grimly. “It’s a cowardly move. 

“But effective,” Rey murmurs. “He has what he wants.”

Luke sighs. “Yes. He does.”

Rey’s thoughts stray to Ben. Was he there when it happened? 

Rumors have begun to spread of Snoke’s new apprentice. They call him Kylo Ren, but Rey knows his real name is Ben Solo. And she knows that these rumors she hears about him, about the atrocities he’s committed, are not the work of Ben Solo, but the work of Snoke acting through his prisoner. 

She would be sick again if there was anything left. 

“What does this mean for the Resistance?” she asks.

Luke shakes his head. “It’s hard to say. We didn’t have much support in the Senate anyway. That being said, the galaxy will be too focused on their losses to risk much more.”

“Won’t people want to fight back?”

He gives her a wry look. “Against the Starkiller?”

He has a point. 

When Rey finds Leia, her eyes are red. She wordlessly enfolds the younger woman in an embrace. 

“We lost so many today,” she murmurs. “It’s like the Death Star all over again. Just. The push of a button, and millions of people...gone. Just like that.”

Rey didn’t know that many people in the Hosnian system, but Leia was a Senator—her entire life was centered around the goings-on of Hosnian Prime. What must it be like to lose so many colleagues, staffers, interns,  _ friends _ ...all in the blink of an eye?

“Snoke will answer for this,” Rey vows. 

Leia’s smile is thin and watery. “I hope you’re right.”

.

Rey doesn’t know Poe Dameron that well. She’s met him a few times, and while Leia seems fond of him, he’s never really captured Rey’s interest. 

That is, until he returns from being a prisoner of the First Order and brings his liberator: a former Stormtrooper named Finn. 

Finn, as it turns out, used to work on the Starkiller, and he knows the way to destroy it. 

“It runs on a thermal oscillator,” he explains in a strategy meeting. “The oscillator is protected by magnetic shields. If we can take down the shields and disable the oscillator, it will destabilize the base’s core, meaning it will self-destruct before techs can fix it.”

“That seems like a big weakness,” Han notes. 

“Starkiller has an entire fleet surrounding it—no one ever gets in or out.”

“Except for you,” Leia says.

Finn has an unreadable expression on his face. “Except for me.”

“And if you got  _ off _ of Starkiller…” Leia says slowly. “It stands to reason you can get back on it.”

Finn’s jaw twitches. “Ma’am, with all due respect, Poe and I escaped by the skin of our teeth. Getting  _ back _ to Starkiller...the First Order would sniff us out right away.”

“Taking down Starkiller Base is our only hope of defeating the First Order,” Poe says gently. 

Finn still has that unreadable look on his face. Rey reaches out with her feelings. 

_ Finn doesn’t want to take down the First Order.  _ She pushes deeper, curious.  _ He wants the First Order taken down, but he doesn’t want to be the one to do it. He’s tired of fighting a battle he never had a choice in joining.  _

Well, she supposes she can understand that. It’s still a little disappointing to discover. What if Finn doesn’t agree to help them infiltrate Starkiller Base? 

And then another thought occurs to her as she’s filing out of the room. What if Finn  _ does _ agree, but Ben is on the base? What if they destroy the Starkiller while Ben is on it? 

She has to get to Ben before that happens. Assuming he’s on Starkiller, and there’s a possibility he isn’t. But how to be sure? 

Finn would know. If he came from Starkiller Base, he’d know whether or not Ben is on it. 

She tracks down the former Stormtrooper in the mess hall, eating by himself. She takes the seat opposite him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Finn takes her in with wide eyes. 

“I’m Rey.”

“Finn.”

“I know.” She decides to cut right to the chase. “Listen, do you know if Kylo Ren is on the Starkiller?”

Finn’s eyes drop back down to his meal. “He was, but…”

“But what?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve never seen him. No one really has. He’s sort of a...I don’t know. It’d be like seeing Snoke.”

“I see.” She doesn’t, really, but she wants him to keep talking. “How does one...find out his whereabouts?”

“Well, he’s always with Snoke, so if you can find one, you can find the other.”

Okay, she can work with that. “And how do you find Snoke?”

“Whichever ship has the heaviest security escort.”

“Perfect,” she says. “Thank you, Finn.” 

She starts to get up, but Finn says, “What did he do to you?”

Rey glances at him. “Sorry?”

“What did he do to you?” Finn asks again. “Did he kill your family? Your...boyfriend, maybe?”

Rey blinks. “Uh…”

“You don’t know?” Finn shakes his head. “Kylo Ren’s a killer.”

Rey feels her heart pound. “What?”

“They call him Snoke’s sword, because he...he kills so many people. The massacre on Jakku--”

“Jakku?” she repeats loudly. Why was he on Jakku? Why  _ that _ planet, of all places?

Finn gives her a pitying look. “He slaughtered an entire village of civilians, all because one of them was hiding something. That’s what the others say, anyway.”

Rey lurches away. 

No. Surely not. Surely Ben, her Ben, couldn’t have…

But Snoke could have. And Ben...Ben wouldn’t have a choice.

Rey heads to her bunk to meditate. She  _ will _ bring Ben home, if it’s the last thing she does.

.

It takes two weeks to convince Finn to go back to Starkiller. Rey doesn’t really know how Poe does it—she suspects it’s with the help of a pretty mechanic named Rose. Regardless, Leia forms a plan to get Finn, Han, and Chewie onto the base long enough to disable the shields and the thermal oscillator and get them off before the base self-destructs.

Rey pulls her aside after the meeting and says, “I want to go too.”

Leia raises her eyebrows. “Sure.”

“I want to go and get Ben.”

Leia’s expression stills. “What makes you think he’s there?”

“I don’t know,” Rey confesses. “But I have to find out. If he’s on Starkiller when we destroy it...I can’t take that chance.”

“Nor can I,” Leia says softly. “All right. You’re going. Though disguising you as a First Order Officer might be difficult.”

Rey takes a deep breath. “I won’t go in disguise.”

Leia raises her eyebrows again. “Why not?”

“I’m going to provide a distraction,” Rey says. “So attention will be on me instead of the thermal oscillator.”

“Okay.” Leia takes a seat. “And what will you do when they’ve got you?”

Another deep breath. “Snoke wants me to use against Ben. Or at least he did, but I don’t imagine that’s changed. If Snoke isn’t on the Starkiller, they’ll either bring me to wherever he is or he’ll come to me.”

“What if that isn’t enough time?”

“The Base will evacuate as soon as the destruction begins.” Rey’s thought it all out. “They’ll have to take me with them.”

Leia is quiet for a long moment. Finally, she says, “And what about the baby?”

The confident look slides off Rey’s face.

Leia gives her a knowing look. “I have the Force, too, Rey, and I’ve also been pregnant before. You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice, did you?”

“I’d hoped you wouldn’t,” Rey admits softly, hand touching her belly. It’s still flat, but it won’t be for much longer. 

“I can see why.” Leia looks old and tired. “The thought of another loss is too much to bear, but...you’re the only one who can bring back my son.” She reaches forward, taking Rey’s hands in hers. “Bring back my son, Rey. And come with him, alive and unharmed. Can you do that for me?”

“I’ll try.”

“Do or do not,” Leia says, echoing one of Luke’s favorite adages. “There is no try.”

“I will do it,” Rey promises.

She only hopes it’s a promise she can keep. 

  
  



	12. Movement XII

Finn, Han, and Chewie take the  _ Falcon _ to the thermal oscillator and drop off Rey on the way. Specifically, they put her in an escape pod marked  _ Property of Han Solo _ and send her straight to the Starkiller’s main hangar. 

Rey breathes hard and fast the whole way, willing herself to remain calm. There’s a huge, huge margin of error in her plan. Snoke might want her dead. He might not get to the Starkiller in time. He might not care about her as much as she thought. 

And Ben...what if this is one time he isn’t with Snoke? What if Snoke intentionally wants the two to remain apart?

She takes a deep breath, trying to slow the beating of her heart. It’s okay. It will be okay. Somehow or other.

When her pod lands in the hangar, the first thing she sees…

Is Ben. 

He looks so, so different. The past three months have changed him, rendering him almost unrecognizable from his old self. The skin around his eyes is so dark as to be nearly bruised, and he looks as if he’s aged several years. She offers him a tentative smile, but Ben’s face doesn’t change--he looks as dour as ever. And then he steps away and in his place are Stormtroopers, one of them holding a pair of restraints.

Okay. That’s...fine. He can’t exactly defect right here in front of the entire First Order. She’ll play along. She climbs out of the pod, extending her wrists for the restraints. The Stormtroopers clap them on her and then step back.

“Come with me,” Ben says, barely looking at her as he leads the way. 

Rey trips after him, biting her lip. He leads her to a lift; as soon as the doors close, he murmurs, “What are you doing?”

She turns to look at him. “I’m here to take you home.” 

“You can’t.” He turns away from her. 

“Ben--”

“Ben is dead,” he says curtly. “He was weak and foolish, so I killed him.” 

Rey feels a flutter in her belly that has nothing to do with the baby. 

She can feel the exact moment Ben senses her thoughts, the exact moment he understands. He turns back to her, lips parted. 

“Rey,” he says in a strangled sort of voice.

She nods. “Your contraceptive didn’t work,” she says as lightly as she’s able, all things considered. 

Ben stares at her belly. The lift begins to slow and his eyes snap up to hers. 

“Ben is dead,” he says again. “I killed him so that Kylo Ren could live.”

He turns just as the door slides open. It’s the same room that he and Rey were taken to three months ago--Snoke’s throne room. 

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice,” Snoke croons. “My faith in you is restored.” 

Behind her, Rey can feel Ben stop and kneel. She doesn’t take her eyes off Snoke. 

“Young Rey...welcome.” Snoke waves his hand and her restraints fall to the floor. “Come closer, child.”

Rey doesn’t move.

“So much strength. Darkness rises...and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise.” He waves his hand again, and Rey’s saber flies to it. “Skywalker, I assumed...wrongly.” He eyes her for a moment. “Closer, I said.” 

Unbidden, Rey glides forward. 

“You underestimate Skywalker,” she says as defiantly as she can while being forced towards him. “And Ben Solo. And me. It will be your downfall.”

“Oh, have you seen something?” Snoke asks in mock-horror. “A weakness in my apprentice? Is that why you came?” 

Rey says nothing, determinedly keeping up her shields. 

“Young fool. I know all about you and  _ Ben _ \--I have seen his mind. You think he will turn because he  _ loved _ you.” He spits the word. “Ben Solo may have loved you, but he is no more, and in his stead is only Kylo Ren.” He raises a hand to cup her cheek. “And now you will give me everything.”

The Force jerks her back and Rey nearly bends backwards with the strength of Snoke’s assault. It feels like a thousand fingers prying into her head, tearing at her skull and rending her flesh. She screams in agony, unable to keep up her battered shields. She can feel Snoke look at her entire life--being abandoned by her parents, being found by Ben and Luke, growing up at the Jedi temple, falling in love at Varykino, the baby--

The baby.

He’s seen it, and his surge of triumph terrifies her. 

He’s. Seen. Her baby.

Rey screams, making one last effort to push him out of her head, but it’s too late. He has what he wants. 

Slowly, Rey sinks to the ground. Snoke is chortling. “So, you’re carrying Kylo Ren’s heir! The great-grandchild of Darth Vader, and with parents so equally dark and light...this child will be strong in the Force  _ indeed _ .”

Rey gets to her feet. “You. Will not. Touch. My baby,” she hisses. 

“Oh, I don’t think you have any say in the matter,” he says. “You see, Kylo Ren belongs to me, and now, so do you and this child in your belly. And when the child has been weaned and you are of no more use to me--”

But Snoke doesn’t finish, because at that moment, Rey’s lightsaber cuts straight through him. Rey and Snoke both look at it in shock, unsure of how it came to be there; when Rey looks behind her, she sees Ben standing, two fingers extended. He crooks them, and the lightsaber flies towards him; Rey grabs the hilt just in time. All around them, the red guards move into action. Rey turns to look at Ben, who’s ignited his own saber. 

“I let him take me,” Ben says. “But I’d never let him take you...or our baby.”

They turn, back to back, just as Snoke’s guards descend on them. Rey thrusts and parries, swinging her saber and stabbing when she can. When three of the guards put her in too-close quarters, she reaches behind her for Ben’s hip; he bends forward, allowing her to lean back on him and kick the guards. 

It’s like the old days, when they sparred so smoothly, so perfectly, that it was like they were one. It’s like that now, but instead of sparring with each other, they’re sparring together against Snoke’s guards. Even when they become separated by the melee, they’re moving in tandem. 

And then Ben cries out, an earth-shattering, heart-rending cry, and Rey turns to see him holding up a stump of a hand. 

“ _ Ben _ !” she shouts. 

Too close, she feels the guard she’s fighting arc his weapon; she ducks just in time, running him through with her saber. As soon as he starts to go immobile, she sprints to where Ben is backing away from his own guard--the last one standing. He leaps at her, but Rey is angry and worried and determined, and she summons Ben’s saber to her free hand. She crosses both blades at the guard’s neck, pressing until he sinks to the floor.

Rey drops the weapons, turning and running to Ben. He’s on the ground, staring at the place where his hand once had been.

“...bad joke,” he mumbles.

She shakes her head, heart pounding. “What?”

“It’s like a bad joke,” he says. “The men in my family always lose their right hands.” When Rey just stares at him, he says, “My grandfather...Uncle Luke...hands.” His face is contorted in pain, but the wound itself seems fine--the weapon that had cut him seems to have cauterized the wound, so he hasn’t lost any blood. 

“Come on,” she murmurs. “Let’s get you home.” 

“This is my home,” he says bitterly. He turns to look at Snoke.

She shakes her head. “Ben, no. You aren’t Snoke’s slave anymore.” When he doesn’t say anything, she prods, “Ben, I heard...I heard you did terrible things. They said you...they said you massacred an entire village on Jakku. That you do things like that all the time.”

“They want you to think that.” His voice sounds far away. 

“So it isn’t true?”

He doesn’t answer.

“I don’t care if it’s true,” she says, voice breaking. “I just want you. I just want your love.”

“Love won’t change the past,” he says at last. 

Rey puts a hand on the back of his head, finally turning his face to hers. “Come away with me,” she urges. “Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.”

“Don’t you see?” A small smile appears on his face. “We don’t have to run away. I’ve brought peace by killing Snoke--and together, you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.”

Rey slowly backs away from him. “I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”

The smile falls from his face. “Don’t you turn against me.”

Unbidden, tears spring to Rey’s eyes. “I don’t know you anymore,” she admits. “Ben...you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow. What you’ve done, what you plan to do... _ stop _ . Stop now. Come back.” She swallows. “I love you.” 

For a wild, terrible moment, she thinks Ben is going to turn on her. But then his face softens and he falls to his knees, wrapping his arms around her legs. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into her belly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

She reaches up to stroke his hair, relief coursing through her veins. “It’s all right,” she says. “Just...Ben, we have to get out of here. Han and Chewie are disabling the thermal oscillator--once they do, this place will begin to self destruct.”

“Dad?” He looks up at her, blinking. “He’s...here?”

“Yes.” She strokes his face. “Please, Ben, let’s go.”

He gets to his feet, wobbling a little, and takes her hand in his. Together, they make for the lift. 

Their timing is impeccable--the lift has just landed when the ground quakes, making them stumble. Ben’s arm loops around her waist, holding her steady so that she doesn’t fall. “Are you all right?” he demands. 

“Yes,” she says. “But we have to go.”

They run, Rey following Ben. It feels like it takes an age, and it isn’t helped by the fact that they’ve come out into a snowy wasteland. They trudge through the snow, finally reaching the  _ Falcon _ .

“Nice of ya to join us!” Han shouts from the ramp. “Now get up here before this place  collapses!”

They move as fast as their aching legs can carry them, literally falling into the ship. Rey reaches up to slam the button to close the ramp before collapsing on top of Ben. 

“Are you all right?” he asks again.

“Ben, I’m  _ fine _ . You’re the one who lost a hand,” she says in disbelief. 

“And you’re the one who’s pregnant,”  he points out. 

She kisses him. It’s the first time in three months she’s been able to and it feels like coming home. 

Ben kisses her back, his one hand gripping her possessively--as if he’s afraid of her leaving. She soothes him with her kisses, stroking his face. “It’s all right,” she murmurs. “I’m here, I’m here. I’m not leaving you again.”

“I love you,” Ben whispers hoarsely. 

She kisses his nose. “I know.”

  
  



	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are: the end! Thank you guys so much for sticking with me on this fic. <3

They did destroy the Starkiller, and with it, the First Order. Without Snoke and their superweapon, the First Order had nothing. A few of them mustered under General Armitage Hux, but most of them fled to the Unknown Regions or willingly surrendered to the Resistance. Those who did not were killed in battle or taken prisoner. And so, the New Republic lives on. 

They’ve established a temporary capital on Coruscant, and the way things are going, the change will probably become permanent. The diplomats who weren’t in the Hosnian system at the time of its destruction have rallied together, putting aside Centrist and Populist politics for the good of the Republic. When the memorial services have ended, temporary leaders will be replaced with elected ones. 

One of the most significant temporary offices has been given to Leia, that of First Senator. An honor that was denied her when the truth about her father came out, the Republic seems determined that the leader of the Resistance should be their leader, as well. They will hold formal elections once each system has their own new leaders, but it seems likely that they’ll just make Leia’s new office permanent. 

Among the initiatives Leia has taken are bringing Jedi to the capital. 

“The Jedi were once the peacekeepers of the galaxy,” she said when addressing the Republic. “Let us hope that their presence here will continue bringing peace.” 

It was an initiative to which Luke reluctantly agreed, but only on the condition that Rey head the Jedi temple. 

“You’ve been a student most of your life,” he’d said. “Now it’s time you become a master. And besides,” he’d added, “you’ll want to be close to my nephew.”

He hadn’t taken the news well at first. It had taken a while for him to come around, but Rey likes to think that it’s the clear love she and Ben have for each other and for the baby that’s made him change his mind about the Jedi way. That, and Leia has probably given him an earful--she always was the only person who could ever get through to Luke. 

“My grandfather fell in love with my grandmother while he was a Jedi Knight,” Ben explains to her. “They married in secret, and he eventually fell from the Light because he was afraid she was going to die and he thought the Dark Side would save her. Luke always thought that Anakin was in the wrong for disobeying the Jedi, but now, I think he’s seeing history repeat itself, and he’s seeing why. It wasn’t Anakin who was in the wrong--it was the Jedi.”

So Jedi are allowed to have attachments now, which means Rey and Ben can be together. They aren’t married yet and haven’t really given it much thought what with rebuilding the Republic and forming a second branch of the Jedi Order, but they both seem sure it will happen someday. 

Ben is dealing with the aftermath of Snoke’s imprisonment in his own way. It’s true that there was a massacre on Jakku, that there were other things Snoke forced Ben’s hand into doing. Were it not for the fact that he’s one of the only diplomats from Chandrila still alive, he would have resigned to take time to recover. In many ways, Rey thinks the work is good for him--it helps bring him back to himself, gives him something to do instead of dwelling on the things he was forced to endure under Snoke. 

He’s frowning at his datapad when she comes into his office, but he smiles as soon as he registers her presence. He gets up, crossing to her and taking her hands in his. “We’ve finally located an adequate system for New Hosnian--it’s just two planets instead of five, but there are so few Hosnians who were off-planet when it happened that two planets will be more than sufficient.”

“Ben.”

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

She smiles up at him. “It’s time.”

“It’s time?” His eyes widen as he looks at her belly. “It’s  _ time _ ?”

“It’s time.” 

Ben runs his hands through his hair. “It’s time.”

“It’s time,” she laughs. “Come on, Senator--I’ll need someone to scream at.”

Ben cups her cheeks, kissing her forehead. “After everything that’s happened, everything I’ve done…”

“You deserve this,” she tells him softly. “You deserve to meet your children.”

He takes a deep, shaky breath. “Then let’s go meet them,” he says hoarsely. He takes her arm, and together, they head to a new future. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr!](kylorenaissance.tumblr.com)


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